Home Extras Links History Off-Topic Site Map Email



Food Chain

Season 1

Broken Bow

The very first dinner at the Cap'n's table. T'Pol makes a point about Vulcans not touching their food, which, oddly, no other Vulcan we ever see has an issue with. I'm not counting the girls and the butterflies.

Fight or Flight

Trip and Phlox have resequenced potatoes. Cap'n has his big epiphany fit over dinner.

Strange New World

Opens in the Mess Hall where Cutler has soup (plomeek?) among many other noshing crewmates. Silent Trav has to rescue foodpacks.


T'Pol kvetches to Phlox about human food over plomeek soup; Phlox tells her to try his antioxidant-filled blueberry pancakes. The Xyrillian ship grows food on the walls. Trip samples some Xyrillian Knox blox. Mal discovers Trip's new nipple over lunch. Trip and X'Sprog pig out at the Cap'n's table and grab some breadsticks for the road. Denouement and exchange of insults at Cap'n's table.

Terra Nova

Exposition and denouement at Cap'n's table. Mal eats "Digger" meat on a dare and an empty stomach.

The Andorian Incident

Phlox and T'Pol share salad.

Breaking the Ice

Painfully awkward dinner with the Vulcan captain. ("Please let me know if there's some other way we can screw up tonight?") Exposition for Trip's wee nephew's class of what the crew eats (and what happens to what they eat when they're done digesting it). Trip has milk, T'Pol has green tea. And they both have pecan pie! (Which dessert really needs French vanilla ice cream on it, just for balance.)


Cap'n, T'Pol, and Alien Chick of the Week share tea. It keeps the streak going; I'll take it.

Fortunate Son

Silent Trav shows off Enterprise's automat to a fellow cargo boomer.

Cold Front

Crewman Daniels comes out over breakfast at the Cap'n's table. The monks give Trip some Agosorian Ale. Cocktails and hors d'oeuvres follow.

Silent Enemy

Food is the focus of the B-plot, as in "finding Mal's favorite." Turns out to be pineapple. Also on the menu are ravioli, enchiladas, fish, eggs, pancakes with peanut butter (my father liked omelets with peanut butter... sigh), sausage, bacon, beer, and the introduction of pan-fried catfish.

Dear Doctor

Phlox invites Mal to join him at dinner but misses, but snags Cap'n for a tryptophan nightcap. Porthos suffers from cheese-related intestinal distress. Popcorn at Movie Night. The Menk share their grub with Hoshi, Phlox, and Cutler.

Sleeping Dogs

Klingon kitchen with lots of K'Food lying (and wriggling) around. Some nasty neurotoxin in the Xarantine ale which the Klingons stole. Live gagh and targ on the hoof. (Or paw. Or whatever.)

Shadows of P'Jem

Dinner at the Cap'n's table. Phlox and T'Pol have dinner again. Cap'n pretends to be the steward. Emergency communicator at the bottom of the bowl of prison oatmeal. (Now there's a reward for cleaning your plate.) Andorian ale (might be the first mention thereof).

Shuttlepod One

Food figures into the A-plot, actually. Chilean sea bass for Mal and meatloaf with Sealant potatoes for Trip. Plus the Cap'n's bourbon.


Dinner at the Cap'n's table with excitable Vulcans, who later ask if it's true that Terrans eat six times a day. ("Only the Italians," Trip explains.) T'Pol has mint tea for her nerves. The excitable Vulcans ask for Chef's Chicken Marsala recipe. Sports and sex discussed over lunch. (Sounds like my office.)

Rogue Planet

Cap'n, T'Pol, Mal, and Trip toast hotdogs and make s'mores by the campfire with Eskan hunters. Cap'n bores Trip with poetry over a glass of milk in the Mess Hall.


Cap'n manages to get the only sandwich the Ferengi didn't lift from the automat: fried baloney, peanut butter, and onion.


Cap'n, Trip, and AOTW have a Chinese Hot Mustard contest over dinner, which T'Pol declines to join. ACOTW brings Trip some dinner; in exchange, he gallantly introduces her to five different flavors of ice cream.


Prison rations. (Seems the only thing prisoners ever get from their guards is oatmeal. Is high cholesterol a raging problem in jails across the quadrant?) Cap'n and Silent Trav have non-prison-rations dinner with non-shapeshifting Suliban.

Vox Sola

Food has a minor but pivotal role, as the Kreetassans get pissed off by watching the crew eat publicly. Trip tries to cheer up a sulking Cap'n with a menu, but the only thing which works is beer and pretzels while watching water polo. Mal, Hoshi, and Silent Trav have dinner before Movie Night popcorn.

Fallen Hero

T'Pol talks sex over dinner at the Cap'n's table. A second dinner at the Cap'n's table with V'Lar. V'Lar and Hoshi share iced tea in the Mess Hall.

Desert Crossing

Essence of the male in blood soup! Plus the teracaq roast and whatever else was on Zobral's table. Fried chicken analogy. Cap'n gets Trip to think up a dream meal (prime rib, mashed potatoes with mushroom gravy, broccoli, pecan pie). Cherry sno-cone envy. Trip whines about having had to eat Australian snake meat.

Two Days and Two Nights

Trip and Mal get drinks with fruit in them. Hoshi has dinner alone in the midst of other diners until her two-night stand joins her, then shares some fruit with him later. Cap'n has one lunch by himself and dinner offscreen with Mystery Bitch. He cracks open a bottle of wine for her, and she tries to crack open his skull.


Dinner at the Cap'n's table. Cap'n relives a breakfast invitation from Trip from many moons ago. Hoshi is forbidden from giving Porthos any more Brie.


Season 2

Shockwave, Part II

Daniels points to the diner where he had breakfast ten minutes and an alternate universe ago.

Carbon Creek

The entire episode is framed by dinner at the Cap'n's table. The stranded Vulcans run out of ration bars and briefly consider hunting and roasting Bambi over an open fire with Eskan s'mores. One of the Vulcans resorts to pool-sharking to buy armloads of groceries.


Mal has breakfast at the Cap'n's table. Actually, he was so nervous I'm not sure he even ate anything, poor sod.

Dead Stop

The famed catfish scene. Trip seduces Mal over lunch. Into exploring the station, I mean. Hoshi and Silent Trav have lunch in the background. Hoshi later alleges Silent Trav played a joke on her with strawberry jello, but Trav doesn't speak up to defend himself (being played by a corpse at the time).

A Night in Sickbay

Phlox feeds his toenail clippings to one of his medical pets, and Purina Medical Pet Chow to the rest of the menagerie. Something drips on him, and he tastes it with that ninety-yard tongue of his. T'Pol brings TV dinners down to Sickbay. Cap'n takes the time for eggs before bothering to check on Porthos. I hate this episode more every time I have to think about it.


Desert rugrat brings Trip some water. It's a desert; that's important enough to count. wombat61 points out Archer's "teach a man to fish" proverb. (On a desert planet? Does the guy know what a fish IS?)

The Seventh

Cap'n offers T'Pol some of his breakfast toast. A whole buncha aliens drinking (which usually means bar munchies). Farfalle pesto for Trip, bangers and mash for Mal, and Denobulan sausage for Phlox, plus Yuengling Black and Tan.

The Communicator

Cap'n and Mal get the local ale at the Tavern of Lost Technology, where there are definitely other folks eating and drinking. Silent Trav thinks Trip could use a cloaked arm to steal popcorn during Movie Night.


One of the plot threads is Hoshi's quest for the perfect oden, for which she demands "CARROTS!" at the top of her lungs. Trip cleans his plate; Mal says "it's a little salty." T'Pol tries to sober up Cap'n with coffee. (It's not espresso; she has no hope.) Chef's planned meal was fried chicken, scalloped potatoes, and orange spinach. T'Pol requests plomeek soup. (Plomeek soup: it's not just for breakfast any more.) Hoshi tells Cap'n to make himself a sandwich. gamebandit reminds us that Cap'n shrills that he doesn't care if his chair can serve him iced tea.

Vanishing Point

Delightful lunch with the boys, even if it's all Hoshi's imagination. Less than delightful lunch with T'Pol.

Precious Cargo

Dinnerus interruptus at the Cap'n's table with raisin-faced aliens. (ooh! a twofer.) Emergency pemmican in the alien escape pod. Boiled swamp water for drinking.

The Catwalk

Senior staff plays poker with freeze-dried food packets. Chef dumps a hot MRE into Mal's lap. Aliens try to barbecue over a plasma manifold. Firefight in the galley.


Trip yaks up Jerry's grog; Jerry yaks up Trip's Clif Bars. Chef makes Chicken Marsala.


The Phloxes have lunch with Cap'n (offscreen). Cap'n has breakfast with T'Pol, then muses that the Vulcan HMO isn't coming up for coffee and donuts. Lunch with Hoshi and Feezie, although I don't know how much cobbler Trip managed to choke down.

Cease Fire

Trip's iced tea does the Shimmy-Shimmy-Shake at lunch at the Cap'n's table. Everyone drinks a toast in the denouement.

Future Tense

Phlox and T'Pol have dinner together for the first time this season; glad to see they've kissed and made up. Temporal tech talk over dinner at the Cap'n's table.


Prison rations, twice. Plus Clem babbles about eating live things.

The Crossing

Trip's Hungry Wissssp gorges on an entire Sunday dinner all by himself: fried chicken, salad, Wonder Bread, spaghetti and meatballs with broccoli, a chili dog, orange juice, cranberry juice, some kind of side dish, and I think bread pudding (or it could be a vertical banana split). Phlox and T'Pol scan for possessed crew over lunch. Trip goes for barbecued spareribs even when he's out of his mind.


Oatmeal is without honor! Klingon prisoners get haunch of targ sushi as rations! But at least K'Lawyer shared his bloodwine with Archer.


Lots of food, which is appropriate for an episode about family. Trav drinks upside-down. Trav has lunch with Mal and a Nutri-Pak with Mom. Cap'n, T'Pol, and Trip do some lit crit over dinner in the Cap'n's Mess. Several people eating popcorn at Movie Night.

The Breach

Rock-climbing rations. Trip mentions the snack bar from his previous cave-in. Mal and Trip both drink from water skins. Phlox pokes at dinner while T'Pol has tea.


Ice cream sundaes. All kinds of munchies in the Mess Hall. Stilton, Alsatian Muenster, six other cheeses, and fruit. Fragrant Vissian food.


T'Pol has some kind of drink (likely tea) and Archer orders coffee with cream but I don't think he actually consumes any. Hoshi brings munchies for the bat and slugs, and pasta for Phlox of Twelve. The first researcher to get assimilated drinks something out of a thermos.

First Flight

Beer! and bourbon, and bar food.


The Tellarite captain has dinner, and rudely doesn't offer Archer anything. T'Pol wolfs down broccoli and asparagus.

The Expanse

Trip and Archer drown their sorrows in bourbon. Archer woolgathers over breakfast.

Sev Trek

Season 3

The Xindi

Hoshi and MACOs and cheese. Okay, Hoshi and a bunch of polite soldiers briefly share lunch in the Mess Hall. T'Pol offers Trip tea. Lizzie has some kind of drink with fruit in it in Trip's dream.


Cap'n's coffee gets sucked into Bullet Time Space. Everyone's lunch goes flying to the ceiling when a Tremor Blorp caroms through the Mess Hall. Trip has coffee, probably, and Mal has black tea, hot.


T'Pol tries a Georgia peach from Trip's stasis stash. (Our organic Jersey peaches are far juicier.) Captain Caveman and the Prehistoric Philharmonic eat taspar-egg nut grubs, or something. Malcolm murmurs that Chef's food isn't sitting well with him, and Phlox suggests moth larvae.


Cap'n and Faster Pussycat have dinner in the Cap'n's mess, although I have to say I don't think she actually eats anything. (It looks like spinach leaves with a single enormous circular nacho in the middle -- wouldn't appeal to me either.) Trip and Mal trade spices for a Thrillerium-D recipe. One of the bazaar merchants offers a marmot which serves equally well as pet or pâté. (ew!)


T'Pol drinks water. Chef gets a mention. The crew is reportedly off their feed. Phlox has popcorn in T'Pol's nightmare.


Count Stalkula replicates pizza, mac and cheese, and a cheeseburger from Hoshi's memory, plus presents an alien spinach cheesecake for dessert.

The Shipment

Friendly Xindi-sloth shares Xindi grog with Cap'n.


Dinner at the Cap'ns' (heh) table. T'Pol and Archernesia have breakfast.

North Star

Mostly drinkin' -- coffee, unnamed bottle of rotgut, Skagaran whisky. Skagaran jerky around the campire.


Archer has a mostly-full plate in his office but we don't see him eating from it, plus a coffee cup with at least a little coffee left. Phlox has a cuppa something in the Mess Hall. Sim gets a baby bottle, lunch in the Mess Hall (we see the remains, but clearly he ate), and key lime pie. 17-year-old Sim invites T'Pol to dinner.

Carpenter Street

Dejerken has leftover Bachelor Chow scraps on the kitchen table, two cans of beer, cold pizza, root beer, and a burger and fries. Cap'n has a burger. T'Pol doesn't want to end up as T'Persephone, and declines. Porthos gets three or four pieces of cheese while Cap'n's making himself a midnight sammich.

Chosen Realm

Dinner at the Cap'n's table with the Head Zealot. Zealots plot in the Mess Hall among dining crew. Cap'n uses "Don't feed him cheese" as a code phrase to let Phlox know the rumors of his molecular disassembly were greatly exaggerated. Phlox offers the pregnant Zealot some Janaran tea, and promises the Pyrithian bat extra snow beetles for helping him take out the Thug Zealot.

Proving Ground

Mal has coffee ("No tea?" "No, and no crumpets either.") and brings some for Blue Meaness. Trip has a hoagie with ruffled potato chips. Shran and Archer have dinner at the Cap'n's table with Andorian ale. Shran drinks alone -- bad sign.


Cap'n shares a potent potable (could be Andorian ale) with Degra. You know, Hoshi's right; Archer's drinking an awful lot this season.


Trip and Mal have lunch in the Mess Hall. Trip has coffee (strong -- I'm telling you, he's Italian) and T'Pol drinks something in the Mess Hall.

Doctor's Orders

Phlox shares leeches and popcorn with Porthos, cooks and eats some kind of soup which his fifth grandmother was good at (maybe -- could have been a delusion), and feeds his menagerie. Trip is woozy because he hasn't eaten in four days. The entire crew, pretty much, eats in the Mess Hall all at once.


Trip, Malcolm, and Travis discuss the XindiBug TECH over lunch.

Azati Prime

Degra shares a potent potable with two other Degradations. Archer discusses turtle soup and tells Phlox to feed Porthos a little cheese every now and again.


Phlox and T'Pol have drinks (probably tea) in her quarters. Archer makes a point of leaving food in exchange for the warp coil he steals. (Of course, if the aliens are allergic to Terran food, they're even more up the creek, but we'll just quietly ignore that possibility.)

The Forgotten

The crew has MREs in a battered Mess Hall. T'Pol gets (but doesn't open) a pepperoni pizza. Trip spills his drink (probably coffee).


Tea for two (T'Pols). Hoshi and Trav start to have lunch, but when Mal sits down with them they ditch his bachelor bum. (Jerks. I hope they got lots of acida.)

The Council

Trip and Phlox grab something from the automat. Phlox admits he installed a tapeworm in his gut to lose weight.


Dinner at the Cap'n's table, where Trip enthuses over steak and apologizes for not getting the galley fixed up sooner. They plan a trip to the 602 Club for drinks.

Zero Hour

The XindiSnakes share grog and mice. Yich.

Pearls Before Swine
Season 4
Storm Front Chicken livers and grated cheddar for Porthos (although he doesn't eat it) and Phlox offers him a steak. Archer and AlphaLily share lunch. Carmine brings AlphaLily some hamburger to supplement her slashed meat ration. (See? Italians are all about the food.)
Storm Front II Romulus and Remus are suckling the she-wolf in the Fixing History clip. Yeah, it's a stretch, but I ain't giving it up now! Unless you want to assume there was flour or grain in the sacks at the Nazi compound....
Home Breakfast and fresh veggies (I think) at T'Les's house. Drinkin' at the 602. Drinks and pretzels at the Xenophobar. Water on the mountain with Cap'n and Cap'n Columbia.
Borderland Trip tells Cap'n if he had another day, he'd add a protein resequencer to the new Big Chair. Plus Spiner and Brent's Kids chew a bit of scenery.
Cold Station 12 Birthday cake for Brent's Kids on a tape. Dinner with Aug'geek at the Cap'n's table. Phlox sets out a spread to start stuffing himself in preparation for hibernating. (Did he take out the tapeworm?) Cap'n gets coffee.
The Augments T'Pol points out Trip hasn't been at the Cap'n's Table for dinner in a while.
The Forge Cap'n slogs down a lotta water. Redshirt Vulcan shares his oatmeal with Archer and T'Pol.
Awakening Malcolm regrets having breakfast before Trav's Shake'n'Bake Shuttlepod ride.
Kir'Shara Archer and T'Pol both nip from the water flask.
Daedalus T'Pol has coffee with her philosophy. Dinner at the (somewhat cramped) Cap'n's table. Trip practically begs to share a meal with his idol, or failing that just feed him something.
Observer Effect A few people in the Mess Hall as Curmudgeon and the Beav play chess. The Beav and Curmudgeon have lunch as they debrief. Trip tells Hoshi how he sent Thanksgiving dinner into free fall as a young lad.
Babel One

Feast for the Tellarites. Shran and Archer share Andorian ale and munchies at the Cap'n's table. Archer and T'Pol have lunchus interruptus at the Cap'n's table. Hoshi warns Archer that the Tellarites might use Porthos for beagle pâté.

United Trav and Hoshi have coffee in the Mess Hall while looking for Blues' Clues.
The Aenar Trip carries java through the halls. Kaffeeklatsch at the Briefing Table. Cap'n pulls out a potent potable to get Trip to open up, but he leaves instead.
Affliction Hoshi and Phlox have dinner (offscreen). Trip has dinner with Cap'n Columbia, who finishes with pecan pie.
Divergence Plenty of bloodwine and gagh. (Klingons apparently don't have a long menu at MK'Donald's.) Malcolm warns Trav that Chef will be upset at any mess in the Galley caused by crappy piloting.
Bound Hulk of Orion serves Archer and Mal Gorn hooch, plus baby roast stegosaurus and assorted dim sum.
In a Mirror, Darkly Mirror Forrest sips some brandy. Mirror Porthos growls for dinner. Everyone chews scenery.
In a Mirror, Darkly II

Mirror T'Pol and Mirror Phlox have lunch in the Mess Hall among many other diners (just like old times). Mirror Hoshi shares Aldebaran whisky ("It's green!") with Mirror Archer, but only Archertilla the Hun gets the champagne glass with the sticky stem.

Demons Cap'n and Mayor Minister share espresso.
Terra Prime Polly has a bottle for T'Sprog. RoboBigot drinks coffee from a thermos and orders Trip to eat. Mayor Minister gets coffee in a Mess Hall full of lunchers.
These Are The Voyages...

Commander Obsolete and Counselor Ineffectual meet for drinks in Ten-Forward and make dinner plans. HoloTala tells her daddy that she's hungry. and he promises that HoloPolly will feed her. HoloArcher and HoloTrip split a bottle of holowhisky. Commander Obsolete makes holoplomeek soup, holofried holocatfish, holohush puppies, holoEdosian suckerfish, and holopizza. HoloTrip noshes on a holocarrot before sailing into the HoloWest.