Lineage ID? I could ask Alex to grant
Current name? Michael Dragon Rostov
Aliases? The common ones most people
use are Drake, Dragon, and Mike. Alex likes to use uncommon
ones -- no, I'm not sharing them with you.
Rank? Consort to His Imperial Majesty
Alexander Vitalis Gordon
Current primary enemy? Whoever's most
recently tried to snuff Alex.
Current secondary enemy? Whoever just
was bumped from the previous question.
Number of years you've survived? 26
Number of battles won? Twenty-two and
a half. She was drunk so it doesn't really count.
Pets? I have a ball python, Basil. I
raise mice for him but they're not really pets, even if Alex
likes to name them.
Height? 1.778m, or just tall enough
to nuzzle Alex's jaw.
Eye color? Brown
Hair color? Tan. I need to redo the
Piercings? Twelve -- one in each nipple,
one in my bellybutton, one in my left eyebrow, one in my
three in my left ear, and four in my right.
Tattoos? A dragon on my left shoulder
Scars? Just two left. Alex doesn't like
them, and had me get almost all of them removed. I'm most
proud of the one above my left eyebrow.
Any major body parts missing or supplemented
with a prosthetic? Nope -- organic and proud of it.
How much do you love the Empire? Omnia
vincit amor; et nos cedamus amori.
Current ship? I've named my Laser Standard
How many people did you have remove to get
there? None. It was a gift.
Next ship? I've had my eye on a nice
Sunfish for a while.
Very tight pants or miniskirts? Very
tight pants. I sometimes tell Alex that they're not going
to be tight enough until they're soundproof. I'm not sure
if he's taking me seriously or not.
Leather, Kevlar, or armor? Pleather, actually.
Kevlar's too bulky, armor's too heavy, and real leather is made by skinning dead cows. Pleather's completely synthetic, plus it's so much more flexible in
terms of applications.
Whisky or ale? Mead.
Rare wines and exotic delicacies captured
from passing vessels in the name of the Empire, or haunch
of targ with rotgut from the still in Engineering? The
wines and delicacies, provided there's no meat in them. I'd
never harm an animal.
Coffee or Jolt? Coffee.
Food or sex? Sex.
Do you enjoy devising your own interrogations
or do you savor watching someone else do the tough extractions?
You know, it's wonderful what you can do with just a few
Knife blade: serrated, hook, or poisoned?
Hooks. I've got this wonderful set of gloves made up like
claws. Not good for throwing, but they're so much better than
plain knives. Alex's thinking of introducing them into the
Gold or silver? Silver.
Bridges or tunnels? Bridges.
Growl, shout, or hiss? Hisses
Coliseum or torture chamber? Coliseum.
While they're not as personal, on the whole they're a lot
Vulcans: mostly useful minions or servants
who are too intelligent for their own good? Frankly,
I think it's a bad idea for us to keep teaching them to
Ion storms: Cool or scary? Cool.
Vlad the Impaler or Niccoló Machiavelli?
Machiavelli. He understood power wasn't in fear; it's in influence.
Lucrezia Borgia or Countess Bathory?
Ooooh, tough call. At the moment, I'm leaning towards the
Colonel Green or Khan? Green
Sauron or Voldemort? Sauron. True, he
was done in by a hobbit, but that's less humiliating than
someone who can't turn off the caps-lock.
Beatles or Stones? The Stones, of course.
Daggers or swords? Daggers.
Mac, PC, or Unix? Unix. I know
Windows is the Imperial platform, but I don't do official
Imperial work on the computer anyway, so it doesn't matter.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE...
Pizza topping? Scallions, but no cheese. I keep a strict
vegan household for Alex.
Dessert? Apple crisp.
Energy weapon? Phase pistol. Simple,
easy, gets the job done, not cumbersome.
Training film? In my line of work, the
training is, you'll pardon the phrase, entirely hands-on.
Monitoring device? A thoroughly-bought
Method of keeping your underlings in line?
Place to be kissed? Right here, sweetheart.
Imperial holiday? Alex's birthday.
Book? The Stranger Beside Me
by Ann Rule.
James Bond villain? Boris Grishenko.
I've always had a soft spot for geeks.
Quote? "If I had observed all
the rules, I'd never have gotten anywhere." (Marilyn
Word or phrase? "Yes." Because
people in power hate to hear "No."
Website? Blowfish or Wikipedia. They're
both very good if you're bored -- the other day I got from
pasta to transgender in six moves. No, I'm not telling you
Least favorite thing? Not being able
to go out in public without an armed escort anymore.
RANDOM PERSONAL QUESTIONS
How many weapons do you carry on your person,
approximately? Six, but I can use a piercing if I'm really
in a pinch.
How old were you when you committed your
first assassination? Seventeen. Oh, Sally Marcus, you
poor girl. If only you'd been born with a gram of brains.
How many times has someone attempted to assassinate
you? At least a dozen. But that's why I purchased the
loyalty of my ninja. Nobody's ever gotten past her.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Probably with the next Emperor or Empress. Knowing what (and
who) I know and how to do what I can do, job security is practically
What do you look for in a partner? Power.
A good set of abs. Thick eyebrows. Nice eyes.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
Emperor. Doesn't everybody?
What characteristics do you despise?
People underestimating me or treating me like I'm a five-dollar
How do you express anger? I get very
quiet and don't use contractions.
Would you rather die or become a bureaucrat?
I would die if I became a bureaucrat, and I'd rather
What was your most satisfying revenge?
Getting Sally to think that death was the only way out. It
was harder to find the cyanide than to get her to take it.
Last person you went to dinner with? Pleasure
or business? Culminated in sex or death? Alex. Business;
we were dealing with some of the Guard's admirals' requests
in person. Sex. He always needs to unwind after dinners like
Last crony whom you rewarded for a nasty
job well-done? Haley Nightfeather, the little bird who
Ever been a "Captain's Woman"
or "Captain's Man"? My official title is "Emperor's
Had the drink Calypso Breeze? Yes
Any superstitions? I count crows.
First thing you think of when you wake up?
Usually it's "Alex, give me back the sheets." He
has a lot of nightmares and tends to twist around when he
sleeps. After that, I tend to snuggle with him, which helps.
What's on your mouse pad? I have an
optical mouse. I don't use a pad.
What's under your bed? Our toys, in
a very securely locked box. A couple of how-to books.
How many people did you have to bribe to
get into Imperial service? One to get my application in
on time, and another to make sure I was the last audition
of the evening. Nothing like waking up in someone's arms to
seal the deal.
What Academy subject is completely useless?
What was the last book you read?
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote.
Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
Can you roll your tongue? Yes.
Hobbies? Origami, reading, sailing.
Should supervillains have capes? Hip-length
capes, maybe. But they tend to get caught while you're trying
Which single store would you choose to extort
tribute from? Blowfish or REI.
Greatest pet peeve? People mocking me
because of how I got to where I am. I've known what I've been
doing since I was seventeen.
Best thing in the world? Pre- or post-sex
snuggling and whispering suggestions into Alex's ear -- he's
never in any position to refuse me then.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest
of them all? Alexander Gordon, of course.