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Personal Quiz: Mirror Universe T'Pol

Mirror ENT


Lineage ID? I was born free to a woman of Vulcan.

Current name? T'Pol

Aliases? I believe some of the crew refer to me as "the Captain's Pet." As this was in connection with Captain Forrest, I had no objection. His influence spared me some small measure of abuse.

Rank? I held the rank of Commander under Captain Forrest, but when Enterprise was destroyed and Archer took command of the Defiant, he reduced my rank to Lieutenant Commander.

Current primary enemy? Archer

Current secondary enemy? Sato

Number of years you've survived? 67

Number of battles won? The only important "battle" is the one to stay alive. So far I have been successful.

Pets? None

Height? 1.7018m

Eye color? Brown

Hair color? Light brown

Piercings? Piercings are a barbaric human custom. Although I was given a pair of pierced earrings which I was told would look good with my ears.

Tattoos? Another barbaric human custom. Approximately fifty human years ago, Vulcans were routinely captured and enslaved by the Empire, and branded as property.

Scars? A few on my back from floggings.

Any major body parts missing or supplemented with a prosthetic? Not at present.

How much do you love the Empire? Vulcans do not love. In the Empire, non-humans have limited rights, which can be revoked at any time by their employers or commanding officers. Only humans may be Imperial citizens.

Current ship? Vulcans do not have ships. Yet.

How many people did you have remove to get there? I met one of Captain Sussman's assistants while I was forcibly enrolled in an Earth science academy, and he had me assigned to his ship as his junior science officer. My service has been traded to several commands as I have learned more about the human sciences and various other ships' functions.

Next ship? Wherever Archer takes me, unless I am killed first.


Very tight pants or miniskirts? Vulcan robes

Leather, Kevlar, or armor? Armor is too heavy for daily wear. A small piece of leather under the cloth of my uniform provides some protection against floggings. Kevlar is versatile, but in order to be efficient, it must be sufficiently thick, which does not permit it to be worn beneath my clothing.

Whisky or ale? I have tasted both, but do not drink either regularly. Of the two, I preferred the whisky.

Rare wines and exotic delicacies captured from passing vessels in the name of the Empire, or haunch of targ with rotgut from the still in Engineering? Captain Forrest provided me with a case of red wine after a successful encounter with a pirate ship. We enjoyed a glass every so often.

Coffee or Jolt? Neither.

Food or sex? Doesn't sex always involve eating food?

Do you enjoy devising your own interrogations or do you savor watching someone else do the tough extractions? That is a human pastime, not Vulcan.

Knife blade: serrated, hook, or poisoned? Such knives are barbaric human weapons. A neck pinch is less messy.

Gold or silver? I have received a pair of silver earrings which are handcrafted and aesthetically pleasing. However, in order to wear them, I would have to create holes of scar tissue in my earlobes, which I am unwilling to do.

Bridges or tunnels? Bridges

Growl, shout, or hiss? A glare

Coliseum or torture chamber? I don't enjoy watching others suffer. Except Archer and Sato. The torture chamber has its use.

Vulcans: mostly useful minions or servants who are too intelligent for their own good? {glares}

Ion storms: Cool or scary? Unsafe.

Vlad the Impaler or Niccoló Machiavelli? Who?

Lucrezia Borgia or Countess Bathory? Who?

Colonel Green or Khan? Oh, successful males. Neither.

Sauron or Voldemort? I deduce these are more successful males.

Beatles or Stones? Insects or minerals? Why would I have a preference?

Daggers or swords? A dagger is useful when more than a neck pinch is required, and can be easily concealed.

Mac, PC, or Unix? More successful males?


Pizza topping? I find the combination of cheese and mushrooms acceptable.

Dessert? Although Vulcans do not eat dessert, I find fruit tarts to my taste.

Energy weapon? I have found plasma shotguns provide acceptable protection when boarding unknown alien ships.

Training film? "How to Disable an Opponent In Three Strikes"

Monitoring device? Mind melds

Method of keeping your underlings in line? Depending upon the underling, either sex or a glare.

Place to be kissed? My quarters

Imperial holiday? {glares}

Book? The Delusions of Surak, although I recently discovered the existence of an unedited, pre-Empire edition called The Teachings of Surak. I have made some contacts so I may attempt to secure a copy of this work.

James Bond villain? {rolls eyes}

Quote? "Infinite diversity in infinite combination."

Word or phrase? "Live long and prosper."

Website? The Syrranites Connection

Least favorite thing? Floggings, although I understand the new torture chamber devised by Major Reed is unpleasant as well.


How many weapons do you carry on your person, approximately? Two

How old were you when you committed your first assassination? 35

How many times has someone attempted to assassinate you? This has not been a great problem in the past, as I have endeavored to make myself as valuable as possible to my respective commanding officers to earn their protection from ambitious or jealous human crewmembers. However, I do not think Captain Archer places much value upon my knowledge or skills. I believe Sato is going to make an attempt upon my life soon.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Dead

What do you look for in a partner? Someone who can have sex without involving food in the process.

What did you want to be when you grew up? Free

What characteristics do you despise? greed

How do you express anger? I raise an eyebrow. Sometimes I use an elbow to the ribs or a knee to the groin.

Would you rather die or become a bureaucrat? Die

What was your most satisfying revenge? I haven't achieved it, but I do have plans for Archer and Sato and the transporter.

Last person you went to dinner with? Pleasure or business? Culminated in sex or death? Tucker. Business. Sex. Among other things.

Last crony whom you rewarded for a nasty job well-done? Tucker. Although I do not know if he would recognize his "reward."

Ever been a "Captain's Woman" or "Captain's Man"? No


Had the drink Calypso Breeze? No

Any superstitions? Vulcans do not have superstitions, but I find that I have developed the habit of crossing my fingers when I need to a plan to succeed.

First thing you think of when you wake up? What traps need to be avoided throughout the day.

What's on your mouse pad? I do not understand the question.

What's under your bed? A food-storage bin.

How many people did you have to bribe to get into Imperial service? While I have not paid any monies for assignments, given the typical operation of Imperial service, it is logical to assume that bribes have been paid regarding my service and to whom.

What Academy subject is completely useless? Diplomacy

What was the last book you read? Frankenstein, a human novel. I also shared a few pages of Surak with Tucker, but I am not sure whether he grasped what I was trying to tell him.

Can you touch your nose with your tongue? I have never attempted to do such a thing.

Can you roll your tongue? I have never attempted to do such a thing.

Hobbies? The combination of mind melding and sex can be stimulating.

Should supervillains have capes? I believe Tucker has some comic books in his quarters. After our next encounter, while he is recuperating, I will attempt to study them so I may form an opinion.

Which single store would you choose to extort tribute from? The Triaxian Silk Warehouse. The material is aesthetically pleasing, and the Trixians are well-known for grossly overcharging their legitimate customers.

Greatest pet peeve? Crumbs in the bed.

Best thing in the world? In the real world, sex. In an ideal world, no fear.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? I believe this is a reference to a human children's story which Tucker told me about on one occasion after consuming too much of the alcohol which he brews in the back of Engineering. Only humans indulge their vanities by gazing at their own reflections with admiration.

Photo: Star Trek: Enterprise Screencaps
Co-writer: myst123