TripHammered
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Disclaimers

THE SHORT VERSION: Paramount owns Star Trek and everything to do with it. I make no money off this site; it's just for fun. For more details, read the long version. Live long and prosper.

 
Legalese

LEGAL NOTES AND OTHER DISCLAIMERS: This website contains characters and situations owned, authorized, trademarked, and copyrighted by Paramount Pictures, probably UPN, and possibly Gene and Majel Roddenberry, Brannon Braga, and Rick Berman, and all rights are reserved by them. These characters and situations are used without permission and do not belong to me. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended. No profit is made by me from this material or these characters. This site was created by and is maintained for the enjoyment of Star Trek fans. I have credited all instances where I used a screencap from another website, and (other than StarTrek.com) I have done so only with the permission of the webmaster. Photos which don't have a credit (and have that stinkin' UPN bug in the corner) are screen captures I made myself from UPN broadcasts, rather than taking them from someone else's site. This site was created and is maintained on an Apple Macintosh G4, using Macromedia Dreamweaver, Adobe Photoshop, Adobe Illustrator, and Adobe ImageReady, plus a little hand-coding.

(cue Jaws theme)

Captain's Log, Stardate 102.1002: There are no lawyer jokes on this page whatsoever. And for very good reason.

Sev Trek is drawn by and belongs to John Cook. MAD magazine is published by E.C. Publications and may well be owned by Warner Brothers. "Zits" is drawn by Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman and is syndicated by King Features. "Blondie" is drawn by Dean Young and Denis Lebrun and is syndicated by King Features. Real Life Comics is owned and drawn by Greg Dean. "Foxtrot" is drawn by Bill Amend and is syndicated by Universal Press Syndicate. "Close to Home" is drawn by John McPherson and is syndicated by Universal Press Syndicate. "Pearls Before Swine" is drawn by Stephan Pastis and is syndicated by United Features Syndicate. "Shoe" is drawn by Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins and is syndicated by Tribune Media Services. These images are used without permission and do not belong to me. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended. No profit is made by me from this material or these images. "Off the Mark" belongs to and is drawn by Mark Parisi. Posted by special permission. (Thank you!) For more of Mark's cartoons, visit his site. "Sheldon" is drawn by Dave Kellett. Reposted with permission. (Thanks!)

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer" belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy, and probably partly to the WB Network, possibly 20th Century Fox, and Paramount, and all rights are reserved by them. These characters and situations are used without permission and do not belong to me. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended. No profit is made by me from this material or these characters.

Made with a MacPlease do not steal my bandwidth. If you like any of the photos on this website, please copy them to your own hard drive. Do not link directly to my photos. If you would like to post one of my screencaps or random photos or cartoons or anything else on your website or a BBS, just ask. I almost always say yes. Plus crediting TripHammered would be nice.

Parental note: This site does not contain any outright nudity or strong obscenities, but there is a certain amount of nudge-nudge-wink-wink innuendo, and screencaps taken from aired episodes which might be considered suggestive in focus. I make the effort to screen offsite links for good taste, but ultimately cannot be held responsible for the content of external sites. I consider TripHammered to be rated about PG-13.

Front page photo: StarTrek.com

Frequently Asked Questions

Who are you?
What's the site about?
Do you really hate Trip or what?
Can we swap links?
Can I use your photos?
What the hell does ----- mean?
What's with...
What are you going to do now that the show's over? Is the site going to stay up?
How can I contact you?


Who are you?

"I woke up in a Soho doorway/A policeman knew my name..." oops, sorry, that's not what you meant. I'm evay, a Trekkie since TNG's "Tin Man." (That episode wasn't anything spectacular; it's just the first one I remember making time to watch, and after that I was hooked.) I love all the series. I'm very happily married, and we have three cats.

What's the site about?

Quit complainin', Cap'n, or Ah'll find some old dead Vulcan to possess you.About 73MB. {rimshot} Back in the first two seasons of VOY there was a site called "The Folded Spindled Mutilated Paris Page," which was attempting to list all the times Tom Paris had gotten the stuffing knocked out of him. (Often.) After watching "Vox Sola," "Desert Crossing," and "Two Days and Two Nights" airing almost in a row at the end of Season 1, I thought I could do the same with Trip, seeing as how he was getting abused at an alarming rate. "The Folded Spindled Mutilated Trip Page" sounded clunky, so friends and family helped me winnow down suggestions until I found triphammer in the dictionary, and that was that. The site was launched on July 4, 2002. I designed the original look, and my talented husband redesigned it entirely for the first anniversary. I tweaked the internal structure a few times, plus added other goodies as the site expanded.

TripHammered is primarily focused on detailing the various distresses and disasters which befall Trip Tucker, secondarily devoted to general ENT commentary, and entirely done in fun. I'm an opinionated wiseass. I make a lot of dumb jokes paired with (I hope) intelligent reflections on the episodes as they aired.

When Trip got, uh, hammered pretty badly, I did a full recap of the episode. If the damage was minor, it got one photo and a blurb. Plus I rambled on the front page about what I thought went right and wrong. Those ramblings, and all the other blather from the site's inception, are preserved on the History pages for later perusal if you're so minded.

Related to the show are "Extras," which ran during off-weeks and summers, ranging from caption contests, Choose Your Own ENTventure, and ENT Libs to DVD commentaries, essays, April Fool's Day gags, and the ever-popular Food Chain. Anything not related to the show (which happened more often after ENT went off the air) is gathered under "Off-Topic," which has about two seasons of Battlestar Galactica 2K commentary, plus movie and book reviews and random fun stuff about other shows in the Trek franchise.

As of 2007 there will be limited and irregular updates, mostly if Connor Trinneer does work on other TV shows and his character gets "hammered" amusingly enough to add to TrinneerHammered.

The FSMParis page went offline several years ago, but if the author is still around, feel free to contact me and I'll happily credit you.

Do you really hate Trip or what?

Actually, since I put up the quote "Satire is the most aggressive form of flattery," I haven't gotten this question. But to answer it, no, I adore the character, and I think the actor is outstanding. I just think it's funny that he was being used as the show's recyclable punching bag for a while. (According to TVTropes.org, this makes Trip "The Woobie." TripHammered is linked in the entry for ENT if you scroll down far enough. However, consider yourself warned: if you enter TVTropes.org, you WILL lose three or four hours. Trust me.)

Can we swap links?

Probably yes. But I reserve the right to screen for good taste and for relevance. TripHammered is a PG-13 site, and I prefer to link to sites which have at least some Trek and/or ENT content. Email me and we can discuss.

Can I use your photos?

Sure! The Trek photos on the site are screencaps or from the official site. I don't own them or any rights to them. But PLEASE copy them to your own computer or server and DON'T link directly to my image on my server. I do keep track and I'll just replace it with a box which says "Don't Steal Bandwidth."

What the hell does ----- mean?

FOOM: An onomatopoeia describing an explosion. Used as any part of speech I can make it fit. Not an acronym. Examples: I wish we'd seen more of the ship from the top before Archer had to FOOM it. CGI of poor Earth going FOOM was astounding. We see the continuing FOOM of Malcolm's exuberant shot on the asteroid. An implosion, like when the Spheres were destroyed, is MOOFing. (That would be FOOMing, but backwards.)

TPTB: Standard acronym for The Powers That Be, referring collectively to the executives, producers, presidents, and other people in high places who have control over the show. Also called suits.

Killer Bs: ENT creators and executive producers Rick Berman and Brannon Braga. I think their priorities about Trek are seriously out of whack, and their decisions have damaged the franchise and squandered the show's premise. Also called B&B or the Bs.

NPC: Non-Player Character. A Dungeons & Dragons term referring to extras, generally those who don't get lines, and other background or filler people.

Moogie: My husband. Personal joke, long story. He and my best friend John were responsible for getting me to start watching Star Trek.

Malcolm and BetsyBetsy Boomstick: A rifle, gun, pistol, etc. Stole it from Jim Wright's Delta Blues, which I suppose is TripHammered's spiritual grandparent. That makes the site cousins with Five-Minute.net, which see below.

Princess Fishstick: See below.

Blorps: The roving Plot Complications which threatened the ship in the Expanse in S3. "Anomaly" is a pain in the butt to spell, and "blorp" sounds funnier.

Thrillerium: In "Impulse," the Vulcan ship Seleya was discovered adrift in the Expanse. The Vulcans had lined their ship with trellium-D ore to protect them from the effects of the blorps, but the ore caused brain damage in Vulcans and destroyed their emotional control. The upshot was that Archer, Malcolm, T'Pol, and a MACO were being chased by psychotic homicidal Vulcans who looked like zombie extras from Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video. I combined the names.

XindiBugs, XindiSnakes, XindiWhales: Insectoid, Repitilian, and Aquatic Xindi respectively. Sounds less pompous.

SnakeEyes: Xindi-Reptilian chief bad guy Commander Dolim.

Cobra Commander: Dolim's second-in-command, from the name of a G.I. Joe bad guy.

Death Star: The Xindi planet-killing weapon. For obvious reasons.

Tesseracts: The trans-dimensional Sphere Builder aliens. From the Madeline L'Engle book A Wrinkle In Time. Much shorter to type.

Manny Coto: S4 showrunner, frequent writer, fanboy.

EGAN: Evil Gargoyle Alien Nazi, from "Storm Front."

SOEP: Soap Opera E-Plot. I found the Trip-T'Pol "romance" of S3/4 to be completely out of character for both of them, contrived purely to show as much skin as possible to increase ratings among adolescent boys, which Berman and Braga have admitted, people who worked on set confirmed, and which both Jolene Blalock and Connor Trinneer were really annoyed about (and even the other actors noticed). Connor mentioned later at conventions that he thought there should have been some other love interest for Trip, because he wasn't going to settle for sex only once every seven years nor for someone who couldn't show emotions. He noted, “It seemed to me for a long time it was one-sided. I finally said, you guys took Trip’s spine and stomped on it. I said she has to kiss him and he has to walk away. And they did it.”Jolene famously stated "You can't substitute tits and ass for good storytelling" and added, "You can't take T'Pol and say 'Okay, you're a Vulcan' and take away the Vulcan characteristics." In S4, new executive producer and show-runner Manny Coto dragged out the angst like a soap opera in bits and pieces in the background of episodes.

Brent's Kids: the Augments (since the characters are the adopted children of Brent Spiner's Arik Soong).

SASTU: Super Archer Saves The Universe. Referring to the writers' irritating habit (indulged by Coto) of having Archer risk himself constantly for no reason, be involved in every rescue, stick himself into every dangerous situation, tell everyone how to do their job, and always have the "right" answer so that any other suggestions being raised narratively are given to other characters who then look stupid in comparison. Worse in S3 and S4.

The RSs: Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens, writers and co-executive producers in S4. Fantastic Trek writers. Until now they've mostly done books, but their screen work is phenomenal.

What's With...

All the links to pages which don't have anything to do with Star Trek? Attempted jokes. My mind works in weird ways, and the links are the references to the things which occur to me as I'm discussing the episode. Sometimes you have to scroll around to find the item I'm talking about.

The makeup jokes? The show's makeup department often overdoes it on the actors. For some reason it happens to Dominic Keating more often than the other boys, especially with lipstick. I folded it into a running joke about Malcolm, but it expands to the other characters as well.

All the links to Five-Minute.net? I love Zeke's site. It's hilarious. Remarkably, he really likes TripHammered. So we each link to the other's site because we think the material is worth our readers' attention. 5M.net started on the Delta Blues board and grew into its own huge great site, Five-Minute Voyager, and from there has expanded so much Zeke had to drop the "Voyager" part. I was rather influenced by Unca Jim's wonderful funny writing, so while TripHammered didn't actually come from Delta Blues, there's a definite family resemblance.

The jokes which pop up sometimes if I mouseover the photos on the front page? Those are actually text alts. Sometimes they show up in Explorer, sometimes they don't. (I use Netscape and Safari.) But hey, any time I have an excuse for a joke, I'll stick one in.

All the fish jokes in "Precious Cargo"? I thought the guest actress was horrible, and frankly unattractive, so I started comparing her to a frozen fish stick throughout the recap (since she was being kept in cold stasis). As a running joke, I refer to her as Princess Fishstick.

Is the site going to stay up? Are you going to keep updating?

Yes, I intend that TripHammered will stay up indefinitely, so people coming to ENT in later years can enjoy it as well. I may continue to add occasional photos and blurbs to TrinneerHammered as Connor gets work which qualifies, but I am no longer going to add material regularly.

How can I contact you?

Editorial commentary and respectful debate of any kind is welcome at evay (atmark) triphammered.com. Flames will be tossed on the mulch pile. Spam gets filtered so I don't see it, so don't bother.

Photos: StarTrek.com