Trip's starting out the day badly in Engineering
-- his alarm didn't go off so he woke up late, and the sonic
shower was on the fritz. "That'll make your hair stand on
end," Paris sympathizes. No wait -- wrong engineer. Everything's
SNAFUing on the NX-01, and Trip's taking it personally. Turns
out that the problem is an alien potatoship up Enterprise's
tailpipe, roughly speaking, and the pleasant alligator-skinned
aliens need some help making their ship go.
Well, that's enough to make any 'Fleet engineer
salivate, so our boy happily volunteers. Their decon procedure
isn't all blue light and sexy gel, though -- it starts with
lung-burning gas and goes on from there for three miserable
hours. Trip calls the ship to whine to Cap'n a few times.
Cap'n tells him to suck it up and keep playing "Simon"
with his reptilian hosts. When Trip manages to crawl out of
the pressure cooker, he's all woozy and light-trailing and
panicky. The nice alligator-skinned alien Ah'len insists he
should get some sleep, but Trip's Da Man and says he can get
right to work. Turns out Da Woman was right. Trip tries to
muddle through the wavy-gravy, but it freaks him out and he
tries to beg Archer to let him come back. Ah'len finally gets
Trip to lie the hell down already. The nap straightens him
When the engines are fixed, Ah'len invites Trip
to the holodeck (although they don't call it that). She runs
a few demos and then calls up a box of shiny pebbles. They
each put both hands into the box and find they can read one
another's minds. Before things can get too interesting, they're
called back to work, and Trip eventually returns to Enterprise.
While having dinner with Malcolm, Trip notices
an itchy lump on his wrist -- and is quite astonished when
Phlox informs him he's with alligator.
The good doctor has our boy strip down to his
tighty-bluesies so he can call the captain and T'Pol in for
a group scolding. Trip loudly protests that he was a complete
gentleman, but T'Pol ain't buyin' it. When Archer picks himself
up off the floor and wipes his eyes, he assures his engineer
that they'll try to find the alligator folk, but there are
Momma Trip proceeds to rant about an "unsafe"
lift to a random engineering crewman and wolfs down seconds
and thirds at dinner, then wails to Archer that the crew is
talking about him behind his maternity-clothed back. T'Pol
interrupts the shrilling to advise that they think they've
found the alligator ship, floating behind a Klingon ship and
trying to look like a harmless log, so everyone heads for
the bridge. Piggy grabs some folic-acid breadsticks for the
manages to convince the Klingon captain that the alligator
folk are hiding in his wake, but then has to talk even faster
to keep the Klingon from turning them into suitcases. When
K'Captain agrees to board the Xyrillian ship but won't let
the human scum join him, Trip has to lift his demure off-white
smock to show a rounded hairy bulge on his otherwise flat
hairy belly and announce "I was an alien's telepathic pebble
bitch" (although not in so many words).
Three hours in lung-burning-gas head-spinning
decon with several stinky Klingons later, Trip is once again
on the Xyrillian ship. The Klingons beat their chests and
spray the air with k'testosterone. Our boy has to pull up
one more time to explain to the alligator folk that Ah'len
laid her eggs in the wrong mud hole (although not in so many
words). The sprog is extracted safely and Trip slinks back
to Enterprise to bemoan his place in the history books.
Photos: StarTrek.com, TripChick via ConnorTrinneer.com,
STrek Online, TrekConnection.com