TripHammered
Home Extras Links History Off-Topic Site Map Email
 
Disclaimers

THE SHORT VERSION: Paramount owns Star Trek and everything to do with it. I make no money off this site; it's just for fun. For more details, read the long version. Live long and prosper.

 

Unexpected

Trip's starting out the day badly in Engineering -- his alarm didn't go off so he woke up late, and the sonic shower was on the fritz. "That'll make your hair stand on end," Paris sympathizes. No wait -- wrong engineer. Everything's SNAFUing on the NX-01, and Trip's taking it personally. Turns out that the problem is an alien potatoship up Enterprise's tailpipe, roughly speaking, and the pleasant alligator-skinned aliens need some help making their ship go.

Well, that's enough to make any 'Fleet engineer salivate, so our boy happily volunteers. Their decon procedure isn't all blue light and sexy gel, though -- it starts with lung-burning gas and goes on from there for three miserable hours. Trip calls the ship to whine to Cap'n a few times. Cap'n tells him to suck it up and keep playing "Simon" with his reptilian hosts. When Trip manages to crawl out of the pressure cooker, he's all woozy and light-trailing and panicky. The nice alligator-skinned alien Ah'len insists he should get some sleep, but Trip's Da Man and says he can get right to work. Turns out Da Woman was right. Trip tries to muddle through the wavy-gravy, but it freaks him out and he tries to beg Archer to let him come back. Ah'len finally gets Trip to lie the hell down already. The nap straightens him out.

When the engines are fixed, Ah'len invites Trip to the holodeck (although they don't call it that). She runs a few demos and then calls up a box of shiny pebbles. They each put both hands into the box and find they can read one another's minds. Before things can get too interesting, they're called back to work, and Trip eventually returns to Enterprise.

While having dinner with Malcolm, Trip notices an itchy lump on his wrist -- and is quite astonished when Phlox informs him he's with alligator.

The good doctor has our boy strip down to his tighty-bluesies so he can call the captain and T'Pol in for a group scolding. Trip loudly protests that he was a complete gentleman, but T'Pol ain't buyin' it. When Archer picks himself up off the floor and wipes his eyes, he assures his engineer that they'll try to find the alligator folk, but there are no guarantees.

Momma Trip proceeds to rant about an "unsafe" lift to a random engineering crewman and wolfs down seconds and thirds at dinner, then wails to Archer that the crew is talking about him behind his maternity-clothed back. T'Pol interrupts the shrilling to advise that they think they've found the alligator ship, floating behind a Klingon ship and trying to look like a harmless log, so everyone heads for the bridge. Piggy grabs some folic-acid breadsticks for the long trip.

Archer manages to convince the Klingon captain that the alligator folk are hiding in his wake, but then has to talk even faster to keep the Klingon from turning them into suitcases. When K'Captain agrees to board the Xyrillian ship but won't let the human scum join him, Trip has to lift his demure off-white smock to show a rounded hairy bulge on his otherwise flat hairy belly and announce "I was an alien's telepathic pebble bitch" (although not in so many words).

Three hours in lung-burning-gas head-spinning decon with several stinky Klingons later, Trip is once again on the Xyrillian ship. The Klingons beat their chests and spray the air with k'testosterone. Our boy has to pull up the shmatte one more time to explain to the alligator folk that Ah'len laid her eggs in the wrong mud hole (although not in so many words). The sprog is extracted safely and Trip slinks back to Enterprise to bemoan his place in the history books.

Photos: StarTrek.com, TripChick via ConnorTrinneer.com, STrek Online, TrekConnection.com