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Ancient History

Archive of previous updates on the site, October 3-December 26, 2005.


October 3, 2005: This week we have a new Off-Topic Get Me Rewrite! starring Tuvok and Neelix from VOY.

October 8, 2005: ::cricket sounds::

Okay then, VOY is in fact not that popular among my readers. Note to self. Here's a nice slab of ENT commentary which should make you happy in the meantime.

Mal looking snickpiddled

What the -- why are you -- don't you come near me with that lipstick!

Now that the show is available on DVD (I'll get it all eventually) and is beginning to run in syndication, I'll be able to backtrack and offer some commentary here on S1 eps which aired before I launched TripHammered. It won't be the same as if we were seeing them for the first time, of course, but there will be lots of tidbits which we didn't find out until years afterward which I can now interject. I should say at the outset that since all the modern Trek series had weak first seasons, ENT included, there will be many more grumbles than I had by S4. Don't get me wrong, I still love the show, but it wasn't as strong in the beginning as it ended up. And there will be a certain amount of bitterness over lost storytelling opportunities as well, so be warned. I'm commencing with "Broken Bow" because that's was the first episode which ran in repeats a few weeks ago, and so a convenient starting point. Other episodes, not in any particular order, will follow in future.

Recently, I found a bunch of the pre-premiere promos with "Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling as the music. While the actual lyrics have little or nothing to do with ENT, the melody and the chorus are so uplifting that they really fit the theme of the original premise's intent. To boldly go, to explore, to get "out there" -- that's what ENT was meant to do.

The little guys in the model Jon is painting are wearing flight suits similar to the ones Archer and Robinson wore in "First Flight." Does that mean they couldn't improve on a suit in twenty years?

Henry Archer died when Jonathan was 12, and Archer told Phlox that Dad was hallucinating and badly off the last few years. Jon looks about 13 here, and Dad is quite coherent.

Ah, the Temporal Cold War and the Suliban, how I don't miss that at all. That was never resolved, either -- they left a whole bunch of stuff dangling about Future Guy and his abilities and his intentions about humans and the Xindi, and they just hoped we'd all forget about it. Not that I minded dropping the storyline, but it did show up intermittently for two years and was never wrapped up. Of course, B&B admitted that they had never planned the entire arc, and assumed they would figure it out as they went along, so there wasn't anything to wrap up because they never knew where they were going.

Oh my god the THEME SONG! Star Trek isn't supposed to have words to the theme song! Even if the words do genuinely serve the purpose of the show, it's a lousy song not sung well. I don't miss that either.

Open the pod bay doors, Mal.

Archer: Remind me why you're flying this ship when I'm the pilot?
Trip: "Rigel."
Archer: Never mind.

In the first scene with Archer and Trip, there's already an easy camaraderie. You can instantly tell these two are old friends, and that they've been fussing over this ship for ages; there's nothing forced about it.

The introduction of the Snotty Vulcans was another shocker. Why are they behaving like this? was the gasp which went up across Trekdom. In retrospect, now that we know what the Vulcans thought of humans and what they were trying to protect us from, the goal makes sense, and since they were being led by V'Las (who was either a Romulan or a totally crazed reactionary), they would have been taking their anti-human cues from the top. But it was four years before we understood that, and I guarantee it was not in the minds of the writers when they penned this in 2001.

Soval is right about the humans not wanting to make enemies of the Klingons (which of course we did anyway, and actually the war should have started with this incident) and about their culture of "death before dishonorable capture." He's just so pissy about it. I guess fifty years of dealing with cultural toddlers would wear on anyone's patience. T'Pol's only excuse is that she's following Soval's lead as the senior diplomat. She's right too -- or at least, we're shown later that she's right about the crew being provincial and volatile -- but also hostile and patronizing. I can't imagine what stresses the Vulcans had to have been subjected to that they're worn down to this state.

T'Pol, the Vulcan, in Vulcan robes. Sigh. Which still manage to frame and prominently display her breasts. Sigh.

AAAHAHAHA Mal does a decent impression of Trip! That's hard for a Brit! (And while there was no way to know it at the time, what a marvelous pre-echo of the close and dear friendship those two would develop and how well they would know one another.) I remember when I saw this originally, it was a few episodes before I could tell Trip and Malcolm apart (Keckler made a similar joke in her recap, and one of the Strange New Worlds writers that year actually did confuse them, so it wasn't just me).

Trav gets a flabbergasting amount of lines. He must have frightened the writers. Or he went through most of his season's quota in the pilot so he could use it for an audition tape.

I wonder if it's just a function of actors aging normally or if it's nervousness or there's some change in film even after a mere four years, but Mal's and Trip's voices sound higher-pitched than in later years. (Plus they all look -- not baby-face younger, but noticeably not the same age as when they finished the series.)

Hoshi seems cool and confident teaching in Brazil, but this poise and self-possession never show up again. Ever. She's a wallflower the entire four years. We never do find out what prior relationship she has with Archer that he can coax her away from her classes, where she seems to be most secure, and out into the terrifying depths of space. We never learn what makes Hoshi tick, or why she was teaching but also in Starfleet, or why she joined Starfleet if she was so unhappy about being Out There. (And what the hell is an "adaptive syntax"? The grammar changes randomly upon encountering new languages? That'd make communication a bit challenging.)

While I understand that ENT was starting out by assembling a crew of people who had to learn to trust one another, consider the first meeting of the Big Three in Archer's office. He and Trip grumble about the Vulcans chaperoning them. T'Pol politely reports for duty, and then makes a quiet show of distaste for Porthos's smell. Archer, displaying the glib and insensitive idiocy which marked so many of his adventures penned by the Bs, turns and sits down while offhandedly saying "I hope Porthos isn't too offensive to you" in that manner which indicates that if she is offended, he's too Don't Worry Be Happy to care. Any goodwill the boys might still have had is instantly shot when Trip sneers that he took a shower this morning, thanks. When he tries to get past the jab by offering her a handshake, she shoots him down by pointedly refusing. Archer tells her he expects her to follow orders and not rat them out to the VHC, T'Pol frostily informs him that she's not a spy and can't wait to leave, Porthos tries to climb her leg, and she exits.

On the one hand, it's supposed to show how our people are new to space and interspecies relations, how we've been held back and we're impatient to get on with it already, how as a species we're young and inexperienced, how this crew is fallible and makes mistakes unlike Picard's homogenized geniuses, blah blah blah. On the other hand... the humans look like jerks. The Vulcans look like jerks. Nobody's trying to bridge the diplomatic divide. We're arrogant. They're condescending. It's a long road to Gene's vision of cooperation from here.

Archer's memory-moment just before he gives the launch order ("Straight and steady" was never destined to catch on) would have worked better without the fade and smile. Let us realize that he's remembering, or just let the contrast sit. There's no need to draw a diagram for us.

Silik! There was a guy who didn't get enough credit or airtime. He could have held his own with Shran, provided they gave the Suliban real uniforms and an actual agenda. John Fleck is a great actor. Love that voice.

This was apparently Phlox's first visit to Terra. He asks Archer if he's ever had Chinese food. Archer answers, "I've lived in San Francisco all my life." Which is supposed to mean what to a Denobulan who's only been to Terra once? Phlox should be responding "Is San Franciscan food like Chinese food?" or "Is that close to China?" or even "That's nice, Captain -- but what does that have to do with Chinese food?" Do we know that Phlox ate the Chinese food in San Francisco? Just because Starfleet HQ is there doesn't necessarily mean that's where he had it; he could have been talking about the food in China proper. The human audience will understand Archer's cultural shorthand, but the character he's talking to might not.

Hearing Phlox's giddy speech makes me realize how little the character grew in four years. His personality traits were fairly well fleshed out in this presentation -- the Neelix-like cheeriness, the delight in new species and new discoveries, the nosy-parker interest into the minds and reactions of his crewmates -- and with three, maybe four additional Very Special Episodes and some marital fluff, that's as far as Phlox goes. (that, and the creepy Denobulan smile!)

The scene in zero-G (the "sweet spot") with Travis was supposed to be part of establishing that Trip and Trav already had a friendship, back when the character was envisioned as Lt. Joe Mayweather. But he was demoted and given another name, and Travis didn't turn out to be as interesting as Joe was supposed to have been. We don't see the sweet spot again until "Fortunate Son," one of Trav's two starring outings in the whole series, and then it's gone for good. I was annoyed that Trip's wondering "wow..." had to be turned into a surprised yell as he flipped. We have null-grav training now; why wouldn't they have it then? Weightlessness can't be new to the crew of Starfleet's first deep space vessel!

Leave it to the Bs to think that it's important or amusing to remark that women of an alien culture have three gropable breasts.

Archer trying to convince a Vulcan to get out and "have fun." Someone should have grafted a protocol officer to his hip and sliced his vocal chords so that anything he wanted to communicate would have to go through a translator. How can the captain of this critical mission have so little diplomatic training? It's not possible for the Vulcans to have withheld that much about themselves from the humans. They've been living together for a century now. And there's no wink to the audience that Archer is deliberately yanking her chain, either. He's just being dumb.

(The inception of the Food Chain -- yay!) "Vulcans don't touch food with their hands," T'Pol informs the neanderthals at the cap'n's table. This must have been one of those weird V'Las-related taboos like the one about mind-melding, because we never heard any other Vulcan complain about it. Actually, by the time S3 rolled around, even the Bs couldn't keep track of all their own stupid canon violations about Vulcan culture, and had T'Pol picking up popcorn and eating it out of her hand. (Which, believe me, Blalock noticed and was pissed about.)

Hoshi's really trying to decipher the Klingon's rantings, but at this point we don't know her, or the lack of TECH, well enough to sympathize with her. (It doesn't help that I keep mixing up the actual script with the Buffy crossover I wrote...) Then she spots the disappearing Suliban in the flashlight and says "There's someone here" but doesn't give any other details. Did you see a shadow? A foot? a weapon? Someone tall, short, armed? Three legs? Claws? A horta? If you're asking someone to investigate an intruder, shouldn't you at least give them a clue what to expect? With all due respect to director James L. Conway, they did shoot that part of the scene -- successfully -- only by flashlight.

Okay, I'm finally convinced that Phlox's displays just have a screensaver of a human male's vital signs. A Klingon just disappeared off that biobed. There's no reason to have a human male outline and stats on the monitor behind it.

Maybe it shouldn't astonish me as much as it does how T'Pol is written as practically a harpy. Her argument with Archer on the Bridge, telling him to turn tail and crawl home since the Klingon is gone, is so cardboard villain, so obviously set up so that Archer could look heroic in knocking her down, you can hardly believe it's the Vulcan science officer of the Enterprise hissing and spitting.

So while Trip and T'Pol are snarling at each other about the mission, she takes the lift from the upper to the lower levels of Engineering and he takes the stairs. What was that supposed to mean? Visual emphasis of their different opinions? She's too lazy to walk down a flight of steps and he's too much of a gentleman to hog the elevator? And Trip's right: if she knows what to track, and their sensors aren't designed to do it, she should be helping him to modify the sensors so that they will track the plasma decay. And she should have offered immediately, not after the captain was injured.

"Suliban... a somewhat primitive species from Sector 3641. They've never posed a threat. However, their advances in genetic engineering made them excellent medical drones." (Sorry, she sounded exactly like Seven for a few lines.)

There is no reason for ANY of the humans not to have recognized "Rigel." We know what Rigel is. Hell, we can even see it from earth! It was a stupid line, written to create further nastiness between Archer and T'Pol. The conflict could have been executed in a much more adult and believable manner. Here everyone comes off as petulant and close-minded.

Silik had an ankle-length cape? He never had a cape in the later episodes. Not cool enough if it's traffic-cone orange and sherbet pink?

There must have been some checklist of TNG stuff which the writers were going through to make sure they did everything as opposite as they could to make sure this Trek was "fresh" and "different." For example, the entire senior staff less Phlox going to the surface of a hostile planet, with no backup security at all.

"A seven-foot Klingon doesn't go unnoticed." Except in a room full of other seven-foot Klingons. T'Pol just got finished saying there were many other races in the trade complex. How could Archer possibly know that there weren't other Klingons? Or that a seven-foot anyone would be remarkable? Maybe T'Pol's not such a harpy for calling these people morons and saying they should go back to their own planet.

See, if they'd really been trying to make a prequel from the beginning, instead of the butterfly girls, there would have been Orion Dancing Girls, and they wouldn't have been mentioned in dialogue -- just a visual flyby.

Trip interrupting the mother who's trying to wean her son off the methyl oxide is I think the first example of how he classically jumps in heart-first, rather than thinking through a situation. It's not the smartest tendency, but it shows his great compassion, which he did keep throughout the series.

Open the pod bay doors, Mal.

Suliban Thug #1: I realize this may be an awkward moment, but I just loved you on Murphy Brown.
Archer: Thanks! Didn't I see you in the Two Towers teaser?
Suliban Thug #2: Both of us! We were 17 rows from the front at the Battle of Helms Deep.

I would say that Archer defending Hoshi from the Suliban was fairly typical Starfleet training, and not the first SASTU moment, but it does continue to make Hoshi look helpless. (So much for that black belt in aikido she's supposed to have.)

Did the writers intentionally name Archer's first babe after a lethal gas?

Yet another Archer/Buffy tie: his romantic interests change drastically after he gets involved with them. Sarin morphs faces. Kayla is surgically altered. The drayjin isn't human. Bethany is a quarter Skagaran. Cap'n Columbia was the only one who didn't end up as somebody else!

"I've been given the ability to measure trust," Sarin tells Archer. Does she mean trustworthiness? And if you have to get up close and personal to measure that quality, doesn't the person have to show a certain amount of trust to let you do so? I bet they gave her a shiny green pill and told her it was Felix Felicis.

Okay, racing across the snow under fire, risking his life to save the Vulcan he can't stand, shooting at Suliban soldiers and a shuttlecraft with a pistol in each hand? That's the first Super Archer Saves the Universe scene.

"Learn to trust" the wind? Shouldn't it be "learn to work with it"? You can't trust a hurricane, for example, but you can learn to glide on currents. T'Pol doesn't represent the forces of chaos. She's someone who needs to become an ally. You learn to work with a different culture, work around difficulties -- it's not merely flinging yourself blindly into the arms of others and trusting that it will all work out. Maybe this was where Archer got his mindless naïve optimism from.

Decon. The mighty third nacelle scene. Decon gel was a crock from the beginning, because it couldn't possibly get into every crevice which might have been exposed to a contaminant -- you'd need a gas. They didn't even show the characters making an effort at being thorough, because they were deliberately skipping their faces and anything covered by a thong bikini and they walked out before the microwaves or whatever could activate the medication in the gel. This should have warned Trek fans from the beginning that the creators of the show didn't understand what Trek was about, or to whom it appealed. These visuals were so gratuitous and so disassociated from their argument -- and they are arguing, you know, about whether T'Pol should be supporting Archer's decision to go forward or doing what she thinks is best for the mission and returning to Terra, a fairly significant plot point -- that it's clear that nobody who respected Trek, or scifi in general, was at the helm of ENT. It was all about the business of show. It was all about ratings and demographics.

There really isn't anything sensual in their interactions, either. The camera is ogling them so much you can practically hear its heavy breathing, and the director occasionally slows down a hand movement across Jolene's scary hips or pointy ears, but this is routine for the characters, and they're pretty involved in their serious fight. I will never know how anyone saw "chemistry" in these two.

"My Vulcan rank supersedes yours," T'Pol tells Trip. Actually, I thought Sub-Commander was equivalent to Commander. And if it's not, then she took a demotion to join Starfleet in S4.

I didn't mind Porthos as the series went on, and the beagle was definitely the dog of choice for Archer, but I was still amazed that any animal, much less a dog, was allowed on a starship which was going into deep space. Yes, I know that WWII submarines had mascot pooches, but they were on Terra, and surfaced much more often than Enterprise would be returning to Terra. And I don't think a dog, which needs room to run around, should be in a cramped vessel anyway, underwater, in deep space, or otherwise.

A "sixty-degree vector"? Is that like LaForge announcing "a bogey coming in on a five o'clock tangent" in "Encounter at Farpoint"? Trip used this too ("negative Z-axis, ten degrees") when they were taking the Xindi shuttle down into the ocean after the Death Star. If the humans and Vulcans are both using the bearing-mark system to describe vectors within a sphere, where do these oddball maneuvers come from?

Ha! For once, *I* have the least makeup on of anyone in this photo!

An early costume test: T'Pol, the Away Team jackets, and "Female Andorian" makeup. The body paint needed to stay moist to allow freedom of movement, and the look was eventually dropped in favor of a catsuit after cast and crew complained about "T'Pepto Smears" around the set. Female Andorians were given leather uniforms to match the ones established for the male officers when Suzie Plakson threatened the writers with bat'telh enemas.

The cell ship was used in exactly one other episode ("The Communicator") and then got Janewayed, apparently -- the writers forgot it existed. There were any number of times when a small shuttle with cloaking capability might have been really useful.

They cut this for syndication! They trimmed a whole bunch of lines from the scene where Trav is showing Trip how to use the cell ship, plus a line or two here and there throughout the ep.

Keating mentioned in later interviews that his line about not confusing stun and kill was one of his all-time favorites. I agree; I think it's one of the best the Bs have ever written.

Hee hee Trip knocks the pod into Enterprise in his first scene, and bumps the cell ship into a random girder when approaching the Helix. And his trademark sense of humor and quips start here too -- Klaang is roaring and ranting, and Trip mutters "You tell 'em, Big Guy." On the fleeing cell ship, Klaang continues his yelling, and Trip shouts back "I don't particularly like the way you smell either!"

Mal's anti-magnet-magnet does indeed go off exactly five seconds after Archer arms it. Yay SFX staff!

Archer remains alone on the core of the dissolving hive ship... SASTU #2.

Wait! T'Pol says something to Hoshi in Vulcan after Hoshi is able to pick Trip's voice out from the static. Hoshi responds "You're welcome." That can only imply T'Pol's statement was some form of "thank you." (She wouldn't answer "You're welcome" to "nice job.") But T'Les stated that Vulcans don't say "thank you"!

When I was maybe 12 or so, I saw some video -- I seem to remember it being Aretha Franklin, although she was way skinny then -- and the visual was very simple: the singer standing against a totally black backdrop, swaying and dancing slowly, and all her movements leaving little light trails. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I wanted to have that effect on me when I walked, all the time! Seeing Archer in the Chamber of Temporal Interference, the effect is still awesome but it looks like it would wind up being nauseating on a day-to-day basis.

Silik calls Archer "Jon" in that "Kiss me, you fool!" bedroom voice for the first time -- drink!

Silik fires the phase pistol, after specifically telling Archer it was a bad idea, and then is surprised by the return-echo shockwave. Jeez, do you not even listen to yourself when you speech? (Although Archer sort of doing a bullet-time duck was amusing.)

Okay, Archer being transported while running? Pure GalaxyQuest.

Klingon blood is purple! If Klaang bleeds red, does that mean he's something else? A Suliban?

They have a spectral micrometer in the High Council chamber? How often do they need access to that machine that they installed one within walking distance of the Chancellor?

Wow, I was wrong in "The Council": Hoshi's done that "you don't want to know" crap before. But it's still not an ensign's job to refuse to translate something for the captain!

Hey, Trip's first swear! A delighted "sonofabitch!" in response to Starfleet giving Enterprise the go-ahead to keep exploring.

So what changed T'Pol's mind about working with the humans? She's "even" with Archer, if that's her reasoning. She continued to berate the mission goal as foolish throughout the episode. Archer doesn't reach out to her until the very speech in which he asks her to stay. Why does she choose to continue to work with smelly, volatile, impulsive, illogical Terrans?

When this first aired, I remember telling a co-worker that "it was good sci-fi, just not particularly good Trek." I think in hindsight, I could say of the first three seasons that the show was an okay space opera and decent Trek, and S4 was good scifi and good Trek.

Recycled Trek Actor Checklist (c'mon, you've missed that): To make up for not having had any Recycled Actors all summer, the pilot has a boatload of them. John Fleck, the bedroom-voiced Silik, turns out to be another latex addict: he was Taibak in TNG's "The Mind's Eye;" on DS9 he played an uncredited Cardassian officer in "The Homecoming," Ornithar in "The Search: Part 1," and Tal'Shiar Chairman Koval in "Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges;" and on VOY he was the slithery junkyard dealer Abaddon in "Alice." Mark Moses (Henry Archer), was Naroq in VOY's "Riddles." Thomas Kopache (Tos, one of the snotty Vulcans) we covered when he played the Melting Molecules Alien in S3. James Horan is apparently the Stock Humanoid Figure for ENT, playing the same role in "Broken Bow," "Cold Front," "Shockwave" parts 1 and 2, and "The Expanse," but he can also act: he was Dr. Jo'Brill in TNG's "Suspicions" and Lieutenant Barnaby in "Descent: Part 2;" Ikat'ika in DS9's "In Purgatory's Shadow" and "By Inferno's Light;" and Tosin in VOY's "Fair Trade." Joseph Ruskin, the Suliban Doctor (I have no idea which one he was) is one of only three actors who was on Classic Trek as well as ENT: he was Galt in "The Gamesters of Triskelion," also playing Tumek in DS9's "The House of Quark" and "Looking for par'Mach in All the Wrong Places," "Tuvok's Vulcan logic master in "Gravity," and Son'a officer #3 in Insurrection. As a bonus, he did several video game voices too: Admiral Nolotai and Vulcan Master N'Kal for Star Trek: Away Team, and Master Si'tann for Star Trek: Hidden Evil (that doesn't sound particularly Trek-like to me...). Van Epperson (Alien Man) needs a better agent to get him some roles with names: on TNG he was a morgue attendant in "Time's Arrow: Part 2" and on DS9 he was a Bajoran clerk in "Q-Less." Matthew James Williamson (Klingon Council Member) has the same problem: he was Security Officer #2 in VOY's "Workforce: Part 1 and 2" and an unnamed Klingon in "Endgame: Part 1"

On a completely unrelated note: I can remember the plots of most of Classic Trek, TNG, VOY, and ENT episodes by their titles, but for the most part the titles are pretty ordinary. DS9 had absolutely the best episode names, but for the life of me I couldn't match up a plot to a title for three-quarters of them.

October 17, 2005: As promised, a fresh Get Me Rewrite! with Trip. (Technically that's Silik, from "Storm Front," but that's the beauty of rewriting the image.)

Starting next week and running through the new year, I'll have a new twist on a previous Extra: Mirror Universe Personal Quizzes! These turned out to be lots of fun, so please keep coming back for them. (I have other things in the works too, also ENT-related.)

October 24, 2005: Remember the Personal Quizzes which rainwoman and I did a few years back? myst made the brilliant suggestion that we update them for the Mirror Universe characters.

We begin with Mirror Universe Tucker. You'll note that the questions are a little different in the Mirror Universe too. Co-writing credits to myst and rainwoman, and much thanks for all the generous help.

TrekToday posted some very interesting comments which Connor made at a recent convention, especially in regards to the Mirror Universe (the cast hated filming it! that's a bummer), Trip's love for Archer, and Trinneer's dissatisfaction with the S3 "romance."

October 31, 2005: Surprisingly, Mirror Reed turned out not to be the scariest figure in the cast, but he's our Halloween quiz. Safe trick-or-treating and I'll trade anybody Milk Duds for $100,000 Bars. Or Milky Way Dark.

November 7, 2005: One of quizzes which made me laugh the hardest is Mirror Archer, because he's just so out there. The in-jokes are starting to unfold, if you're keeping track. Another new Extra next week.

November 14, 2005: The portrayal of the Vulcans was one of the most interesting facets of the Mirror Universe, and one with great potential. myst and I, with generous help from wombat61, spent a few weeks working out what their situation might be and how Mirror T'Pol and Mirror Soval came to be where they were. I think myst did an excellent job with this quiz, adding several layers to the society we saw and hinting at what could happen in the future.

A topic which occasionally surfaces on BBSs is "Lines You'll Never Hear On [show]." I started to write one for ENT, but I immediately realized it would be much funnier to take my usual perspective of breaking the fourth wall and put together "What They Say Off-Camera." Suggestions and additions are welcome and will be credited.

The future's so bright I gotta wear shades

Trip: Sure is hot.
Archer: Yep.
Trip: Ah could sure go for a cherry sno-cone.
Archer: Yeah, that'd be great right about now.
Trip: You gonna go get me one?
Archer: Nope.
Trip: ...Why not?
Archer: Think I'm just gonna stand here for a while.
Trip: Why's that?
Archer: In fact, I don't think I can really move at all.
Trip: Why not? What's the matter with you?
Archer: Remember that last tussle in the dunes we had?
Trip: Yeah.
Archer: Got sand down my shorts.
Trip: And?
Archer: Ever get sand down your shorts when you've got piles?
Trip: Piles of what?
Archer: No, piles. Just -- piles.
Trip: What the hell is "piles"?
Archer: {mumble}
Trip: What?
Archer: Hemorrhoids, all right? I've got hemorrhoids and the sand really chafes.
Trip: So you're gonna be a pain in the ass and not get me a cherry sno-cone because you've got a pain in the ass?
Archer: Oh, gimme a dollar already and I'll get your damn sno-cone.
Trip: You're a peach.
Archer: I thought you wanted cherry?

November 23, 2005: We are confirmed that Connor will have a guest role on Friday's (November 25) episode of the CBS series Numb3rs. He plays Bob McHugh, whose problem kicks off the week's plot, but we don't know how big the role is.

Connor stated on his own website that he just finished filming a guest shot for Close to Home, another CBS series which airs later on Friday nights. No confirmation on when that will air. The SG:A episode with Connor, "Michael," is slated for February 2006.

Happy Carbo Coma Day to all! Let's be thankful for transient sorrows and long-lasting joys.

November 28, 2005: Mirror Mayweather has a few more secrets than our Silent Trav, and a little more amibition. Plus a way cooler haircut.

I wish they'd given Connor more to do on Numb3rs, but I'd settle for one of the "I Hid Bob McHugh" T-shirts or mugs. Ah well, we know he has a large role in the SG:A episode. Although if you enjoyed seeing Connor, going to CBS's website and dropping them a note in the feedback form at the bottom of the page certainly can't hurt.

We finally got out to see Goblet of Fire, and I've jotted down a few thoughts if you're interested. New Get Me Rewrite for next week.

November 29, 2005: The IMDb lists Connor as being in two SG:A episodes, one in February and one in March. Yay!

December 5, 2005: Mirror Sato, who wound up being one of the most devious of the crew, consents to answer this week's quiz.

And in celebration of George Takei recently coming out of the closet (and 18 years with Brad! go George!) we have a Get Me Rewrite! with an exuberant Sulu. Keep it courteous and PG-13 as always.

December 12, 2005: Mirror Forrest was one of the more decent guys -- someone who understood that while in the Empire you need force to rule, you don't need bullying.

Hey, didja see that BSG is now available for download from iTunes for $1.99 an episode?

December 19, 2005: A slightly different take on the Mirror Universe, from Mirror Soval -- a crewman, not an officer, and not of the race in power. Another look behind the scenes of how that universe came to be. Fascinating and a little sad.

The IMdb lists a few more BSG2K episode names, so I've updated the Off-Topic page.

December 26, 2005: For the grand finale of the Mirror Universe Quizzes, we have Mirror Rostov. Yes, I know Rostov wasn't in either of the IAMD episodes, but doesn't that leave him entirely open for interpretation? So Mike gives us a look into how things are in the Empire from way on the inside -- namely, next to the Emperor himself.

Plus ivymae did a frakkin' awesome illustration which you must see. :D

Site updates, January 2 through June 26, 2006

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Site updates, April 1 through July 1, 2005

Site updates, January 4 through March 25, 2005

Site updates, October 1 through December 31, 2004

Site updates, July 4 through September 24, 2004

Site updates, April 7 through June 30, 2004

Site updates, January 1 through March 31, 2004

Site updates, October 1 through December 31, 2003

Site updates, July 4 through September 30, 2003

Site upates, April 2 through July 2, 2003

Site upates, January 1 through March 28, 2003

Site updates, July 4 through December 31, 2002


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Photos: Paramount, TrekPulse, StarTrek.com