October 3, 2005: This week we have a new Off-Topic
Get Me Rewrite! starring Tuvok and Neelix from VOY.
October 8, 2005: ::cricket sounds::
Okay then, VOY is in fact not that popular
among my readers. Note to self. Here's a nice slab of ENT
commentary which should make you happy in the meantime.
What the -- why are you -- don't you
come near me with that lipstick!
Now that the show is available on DVD (I'll
get it all eventually) and is beginning to run in syndication,
I'll be able to backtrack and offer some commentary here
on S1 eps which aired before I launched TripHammered. It
won't be the same as if we were seeing them for the first
time, of course, but there will be lots of tidbits which
we didn't find out until years afterward which I can now
interject. I should say at the outset that since all the
modern Trek series had weak first seasons, ENT included,
there will be many more grumbles than I had by S4. Don't
get me wrong, I still love the show, but it wasn't as strong
in the beginning as it ended up. And there will be a certain
amount of bitterness over lost storytelling opportunities
as well, so be warned. I'm commencing with "Broken
Bow" because that's was the first episode which
ran in repeats a few weeks ago, and so a convenient starting
point. Other episodes, not in any particular order, will
follow in future.
Recently, I found a bunch of the pre-premiere
promos with "Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling
as the music. While the actual lyrics have little or nothing
to do with ENT, the melody and the chorus are so uplifting
that they really fit the theme of the original premise's
intent. To boldly go, to explore, to get "out there" --
that's what ENT was meant to do.
The little guys in the model Jon is painting
are wearing flight suits similar to the ones Archer and Robinson
wore in "First
Flight." Does that mean they couldn't improve on
a suit in twenty years?
Henry Archer died when Jonathan was 12, and
Archer told Phlox that Dad was hallucinating and badly off
the last few years. Jon looks about 13 here, and Dad is quite
Ah, the Temporal Cold War and the Suliban,
how I don't miss that at all. That was never resolved, either
-- they left a whole bunch of stuff dangling about Future
Guy and his abilities and his intentions about humans and
the Xindi, and they just hoped we'd all forget about it.
Not that I minded dropping the storyline, but it did show
up intermittently for two years and was never wrapped up.
Of course, B&B admitted that they had never planned the
entire arc, and assumed they would figure it out as they
went along, so there wasn't anything to wrap up because
they never knew where they were going.
Oh my god the THEME SONG! Star Trek isn't supposed
to have words to the theme song! Even if the words
do genuinely serve the purpose of the show, it's a lousy
song not sung well. I don't miss that either.
Archer: Remind me why you're flying
this ship when I'm the pilot?
Archer: Never mind.
In the first scene with Archer and Trip, there's
already an easy camaraderie. You can instantly tell these
two are old friends, and that they've been fussing over this
ship for ages; there's nothing forced about it.
The introduction of the Snotty Vulcans was
another shocker. Why are they behaving like this? was
the gasp which went up across Trekdom. In retrospect, now
that we know what the Vulcans thought of humans and what
they were trying to protect us from, the goal makes sense,
and since they were being led by V'Las (who was either a
Romulan or a totally crazed reactionary), they would have
been taking their anti-human cues from the top. But it was
four years before we understood that, and I guarantee it
was not in the minds of the writers when they penned this
Soval is right about the humans not wanting
to make enemies of the Klingons (which of course we did anyway,
and actually the war should have started with this incident)
and about their culture of "death before dishonorable
capture." He's just so pissy about it. I guess fifty
years of dealing with cultural toddlers would wear on anyone's
patience. T'Pol's only excuse is that she's following Soval's
lead as the senior diplomat. She's right too -- or at least,
we're shown later that she's right about the crew being provincial
and volatile -- but also hostile and patronizing. I can't
imagine what stresses the Vulcans had to have been subjected
to that they're worn down to this state.
T'Pol, the Vulcan, in Vulcan robes. Sigh. Which
still manage to frame and prominently display her breasts.
AAAHAHAHA Mal does a decent impression of Trip!
That's hard for a Brit! (And while there was no way to know
it at the time, what a marvelous pre-echo of the close and
dear friendship those two would develop and how well they
would know one another.) I remember when I saw this originally,
it was a few episodes before I could tell Trip and Malcolm
apart (Keckler made a similar joke in her recap, and one
of the Strange New Worlds writers that year actually
did confuse them, so it wasn't just me).
Trav gets a flabbergasting amount of lines.
He must have frightened the writers. Or he went through most
of his season's quota in the pilot so he could use it for
an audition tape.
I wonder if it's just a function of actors
aging normally or if it's nervousness or there's some change
in film even after a mere four years, but Mal's and Trip's
voices sound higher-pitched than in later years. (Plus they
all look -- not baby-face younger, but noticeably not the
same age as when they finished the series.)
Hoshi seems cool and confident teaching in
Brazil, but this poise and self-possession never show up
again. Ever. She's a wallflower the entire four years. We
never do find out what prior relationship she has with Archer
that he can coax her away from her classes, where she seems
to be most secure, and out into the terrifying depths of
space. We never learn what makes Hoshi tick, or why she was
teaching but also in Starfleet, or why she joined Starfleet
if she was so unhappy about being Out There. (And what the
hell is an "adaptive syntax"? The grammar changes
randomly upon encountering new languages? That'd make communication
a bit challenging.)
While I understand that ENT was starting out
by assembling a crew of people who had to learn to trust
one another, consider the first meeting of the Big Three
in Archer's office. He and Trip grumble about the Vulcans
chaperoning them. T'Pol politely reports for duty, and then
makes a quiet show of distaste for Porthos's smell. Archer,
displaying the glib and insensitive idiocy which marked so
many of his adventures penned by the Bs, turns and sits down
while offhandedly saying "I hope Porthos isn't too offensive
to you" in that manner which indicates that if she is offended,
he's too Don't Worry Be Happy to care. Any goodwill the boys
might still have had is instantly shot when Trip sneers that he took
a shower this morning, thanks. When he tries to get past
the jab by offering her a handshake, she shoots him down
by pointedly refusing. Archer tells her he expects her to
follow orders and not rat them out to the VHC, T'Pol frostily
informs him that she's not a spy and can't wait to leave,
Porthos tries to climb her leg, and she exits.
On the one hand, it's supposed to show how
our people are new to space and interspecies relations, how
we've been held back and we're impatient to get on with it
already, how as a species we're young and inexperienced,
how this crew is fallible and makes mistakes unlike Picard's
homogenized geniuses, blah blah blah. On the other hand...
the humans look like jerks. The Vulcans look like jerks.
Nobody's trying to bridge the diplomatic divide. We're arrogant.
They're condescending. It's a long road to Gene's
vision of cooperation from here.
Archer's memory-moment just before he gives
the launch order ("Straight and steady" was never
destined to catch on) would have worked better without the
fade and smile. Let us realize that he's remembering, or
just let the contrast sit. There's no need to draw a diagram
Silik! There was a guy who didn't get enough
credit or airtime. He could have held his own with Shran,
provided they gave the Suliban real uniforms and an actual
agenda. John Fleck is a great actor. Love that voice.
This was apparently Phlox's first visit to
Terra. He asks Archer if he's ever had Chinese food. Archer
answers, "I've lived in San Francisco all my life." Which
is supposed to mean what to a Denobulan who's only been to
Terra once? Phlox should be responding "Is San Franciscan
food like Chinese food?" or "Is that close to China?" or
even "That's nice, Captain -- but what does that have
to do with Chinese food?" Do we know that Phlox ate
the Chinese food in San Francisco? Just because Starfleet
HQ is there doesn't necessarily mean that's where he had
it; he could have been talking about the food in China proper.
The human audience will understand Archer's cultural shorthand,
but the character he's talking to might not.
Hearing Phlox's giddy speech makes me realize
how little the character grew in four years. His personality
traits were fairly well fleshed out in this presentation
-- the Neelix-like cheeriness, the delight in new species
and new discoveries, the nosy-parker interest into the minds
and reactions of his crewmates -- and with three, maybe four
additional Very Special Episodes and some marital fluff,
that's as far as Phlox goes. (that, and the creepy Denobulan
The scene in zero-G (the "sweet spot")
with Travis was supposed to be part of establishing that
Trip and Trav already had a friendship, back when the character
was envisioned as Lt. Joe Mayweather. But he was demoted
and given another name, and Travis didn't turn out to be
as interesting as Joe was supposed to have been. We don't
see the sweet spot again until "Fortunate Son," one
of Trav's two starring outings in the whole series, and then
it's gone for good. I was annoyed that Trip's wondering "wow..." had
to be turned into a surprised yell as he flipped. We have
null-grav training now; why wouldn't they have it
then? Weightlessness can't be new to the crew of Starfleet's
first deep space vessel!
Leave it to the Bs to think that it's important
or amusing to remark that women of an alien culture have
three gropable breasts.
Archer trying to convince a Vulcan to get out
and "have fun." Someone should have grafted a protocol
officer to his hip and sliced his vocal chords so that anything
he wanted to communicate would have to go through a translator.
How can the captain of this critical mission have so little
diplomatic training? It's not possible for the Vulcans to
have withheld that much about themselves from the
humans. They've been living together for a century now. And
there's no wink to the audience that Archer is deliberately
yanking her chain, either. He's just being dumb.
(The inception of the Food Chain -- yay!) "Vulcans
don't touch food with their hands," T'Pol informs the
neanderthals at the cap'n's table. This must have been one
of those weird V'Las-related taboos like the one about mind-melding,
because we never heard any other Vulcan complain about it.
Actually, by the time S3 rolled around, even the Bs couldn't
keep track of all their own stupid canon violations about
Vulcan culture, and had T'Pol picking up popcorn and eating
it out of her hand. (Which, believe me, Blalock noticed and
was pissed about.)
Hoshi's really trying to decipher the Klingon's
rantings, but at this point we don't know her, or the lack
of TECH, well enough to sympathize with her. (It doesn't
help that I keep mixing up the actual script with the Buffy crossover I
wrote...) Then she spots the disappearing Suliban in the
flashlight and says "There's someone here" but
doesn't give any other details. Did you see a shadow? A foot?
a weapon? Someone tall, short, armed? Three legs? Claws?
A horta? If you're asking someone to investigate an intruder,
shouldn't you at least give them a clue what to expect? With
all due respect to director James L. Conway, they did shoot
that part of the scene -- successfully -- only by flashlight.
Okay, I'm finally convinced that Phlox's displays
just have a screensaver of a human male's vital signs. A Klingon just
disappeared off that biobed. There's no reason to have a
human male outline and stats on the monitor behind it.
Maybe it shouldn't astonish me as much as it
does how T'Pol is written as practically a harpy. Her argument
with Archer on the Bridge, telling him to turn tail and crawl
home since the Klingon is gone, is so cardboard villain, so
obviously set up so that Archer could look heroic in knocking
her down, you can hardly believe it's the Vulcan science officer
of the Enterprise hissing and spitting.
So while Trip and T'Pol are snarling at each
other about the mission, she takes the lift from the upper
to the lower levels of Engineering and he takes the stairs.
What was that supposed to mean? Visual emphasis of their
different opinions? She's too lazy to walk down a flight
of steps and he's too much of a gentleman to hog the elevator?
And Trip's right: if she knows what to track, and their sensors
aren't designed to do it, she should be helping him to modify
the sensors so that they will track the plasma decay.
And she should have offered immediately, not after the captain
"Suliban... a somewhat primitive species
from Sector 3641. They've never posed a threat. However,
their advances in genetic engineering made them excellent
medical drones." (Sorry, she sounded exactly like Seven
for a few lines.)
There is no reason for ANY of the humans not
to have recognized "Rigel." We know what
Rigel is. Hell, we can even see it from earth! It was a stupid
line, written to create further nastiness between Archer
and T'Pol. The conflict could have been executed in a much
more adult and believable manner. Here everyone comes off
as petulant and close-minded.
Silik had an ankle-length cape? He never had
a cape in the later episodes. Not cool enough if it's traffic-cone
orange and sherbet pink?
There must have been some checklist of TNG
stuff which the writers were going through to make sure they
did everything as opposite as they could to make sure this
Trek was "fresh" and "different." For
example, the entire senior staff less Phlox going
to the surface of a hostile planet, with no backup security
"A seven-foot Klingon doesn't go unnoticed." Except
in a room full of other seven-foot Klingons. T'Pol just got
finished saying there were many other races in the trade
complex. How could Archer possibly know that there weren't
other Klingons? Or that a seven-foot anyone would be remarkable?
Maybe T'Pol's not such a harpy for calling these people
morons and saying they should go back to their own planet.
See, if they'd really been trying to make a
prequel from the beginning, instead of the butterfly girls,
there would have been Orion Dancing Girls, and they wouldn't
have been mentioned in dialogue -- just a visual flyby.
Trip interrupting the mother who's trying to
wean her son off the methyl oxide is I think the first example
of how he classically jumps in heart-first, rather than thinking
through a situation. It's not the smartest tendency, but
it shows his great compassion, which he did keep throughout
Suliban Thug #1: I realize this
may be an awkward moment, but I just loved you on Murphy
Archer: Thanks! Didn't I see you in
the Two Towers teaser?
Suliban Thug #2: Both of us! We were
17 rows from the front at the Battle of Helms
I would say that Archer defending Hoshi from
the Suliban was fairly typical Starfleet training, and not
the first SASTU moment, but it does continue to make Hoshi
look helpless. (So much for that black belt in aikido she's
supposed to have.)
Did the writers intentionally name Archer's
first babe after a lethal gas?
Yet another Archer/Buffy tie: his romantic
interests change drastically after he gets involved with
them. Sarin morphs faces. Kayla is surgically altered. The
drayjin isn't human. Bethany is a quarter Skagaran. Cap'n
Columbia was the only one who didn't end up as somebody else!
"I've been given the ability to measure trust," Sarin
tells Archer. Does she mean trustworthiness? And if
you have to get up close and personal to measure that quality,
doesn't the person have to show a certain amount of trust
to let you do so? I bet they gave her a shiny green pill
and told her it was Felix Felicis.
Okay, racing across the snow under fire, risking
his life to save the Vulcan he can't stand, shooting at Suliban
soldiers and a shuttlecraft with a pistol in each
hand? That's the first Super Archer Saves the Universe
"Learn to trust" the wind? Shouldn't
it be "learn to work with it"? You can't trust
a hurricane, for example, but you can learn to glide on currents.
T'Pol doesn't represent the forces of chaos. She's someone
who needs to become an ally. You learn to work with a
different culture, work around difficulties -- it's
not merely flinging yourself blindly into the arms of others
and trusting that it will all work out. Maybe this
was where Archer got his mindless naïve optimism from.
Decon. The mighty third nacelle scene. Decon
gel was a crock from the beginning, because it couldn't possibly
get into every crevice which might have been exposed to a
contaminant -- you'd need a gas. They didn't even show the
characters making an effort at being thorough, because they
were deliberately skipping their faces and anything covered
by a thong bikini and they
walked out before the microwaves or whatever could activate
the medication in the gel. This should have warned Trek fans
from the beginning that the creators of the show didn't understand
what Trek was about, or to whom it appealed. These visuals
were so gratuitous and so disassociated from
their argument -- and they are arguing, you know,
about whether T'Pol should be supporting Archer's decision
to go forward or doing what she thinks is best for the mission
and returning to Terra, a fairly significant plot point --
that it's clear that nobody who respected Trek, or scifi
in general, was at the helm of ENT. It was all about the
business of show. It was all about ratings and demographics.
There really isn't anything sensual in their
interactions, either. The camera is ogling them so much you
can practically hear its heavy breathing, and the director
occasionally slows down a hand movement across Jolene's scary
hips or pointy ears, but this is routine for the characters,
and they're pretty involved in their serious fight. I will
never know how anyone saw "chemistry" in these
"My Vulcan rank supersedes yours," T'Pol
tells Trip. Actually, I thought Sub-Commander was equivalent to
Commander. And if it's not, then she took a demotion to join
Starfleet in S4.
I didn't mind Porthos as the series went on,
and the beagle was definitely the dog of choice for Archer,
but I was still amazed that any animal, much less
a dog, was allowed on a starship which was going into
deep space. Yes, I know that WWII submarines had mascot pooches,
but they were on Terra, and surfaced much more often than Enterprise would
be returning to Terra. And I don't think a dog, which needs
room to run around, should be in a cramped vessel anyway,
underwater, in deep space, or otherwise.
A "sixty-degree vector"? Is that
like LaForge announcing "a bogey coming in on a five
o'clock tangent" in "Encounter at Farpoint"?
Trip used this too ("negative Z-axis, ten degrees")
when they were taking the Xindi shuttle down into the ocean
after the Death Star. If the humans and Vulcans are both
using the bearing-mark system to describe vectors within
a sphere, where do these oddball maneuvers come from?
An early costume test: T'Pol, the Away
Team jackets, and "Female Andorian" makeup.
The body paint needed to stay moist to allow freedom
of movement, and the look was eventually dropped in
favor of a catsuit after cast and crew complained about
"T'Pepto Smears" around the set. Female Andorians
were given leather uniforms to match the ones established
for the male officers when Suzie
Plakson threatened the writers with bat'telh enemas.
The cell ship was used in exactly one other
episode ("The Communicator") and then got Janewayed,
apparently -- the writers forgot it existed. There were any
number of times when a small shuttle with cloaking capability
might have been really useful.
They cut this for syndication! They trimmed
a whole bunch of lines from the scene where Trav is showing
Trip how to use the cell ship, plus a line or two here and
there throughout the ep.
Keating mentioned in later interviews that
his line about not confusing stun and kill was one of his
all-time favorites. I agree; I think it's one of the best
the Bs have ever written.
Hee hee Trip knocks the pod into Enterprise in
his first scene, and bumps the cell ship into a random girder
when approaching the Helix. And his trademark sense of humor
and quips start here too -- Klaang is roaring and ranting,
and Trip mutters "You tell 'em, Big Guy." On the
fleeing cell ship, Klaang continues his yelling, and Trip
shouts back "I don't particularly like the way you smell
Mal's anti-magnet-magnet does indeed go off
exactly five seconds after Archer arms it. Yay SFX staff!
Archer remains alone on the core of the dissolving
hive ship... SASTU #2.
Wait! T'Pol says something to Hoshi in Vulcan
after Hoshi is able to pick Trip's voice out from the static.
Hoshi responds "You're welcome." That can only
imply T'Pol's statement was some form of "thank you." (She
wouldn't answer "You're welcome" to "nice
job.") But T'Les stated that Vulcans don't say "thank
When I was maybe 12 or so, I saw some video
-- I seem to remember it being Aretha Franklin, although
she was way skinny then -- and the visual was very simple:
the singer standing against a totally black backdrop, swaying
and dancing slowly, and all her movements leaving little
light trails. I thought it was the coolest thing ever.
I wanted to have that effect on me when I walked, all the
time! Seeing Archer in the Chamber of Temporal Interference,
the effect is still awesome but it looks like it would wind
up being nauseating on a day-to-day basis.
Silik calls Archer "Jon" in that "Kiss
me, you fool!" bedroom voice for the first time -- drink!
Silik fires the phase pistol, after specifically
telling Archer it was a bad idea, and then is surprised by
the return-echo shockwave. Jeez, do you not even listen to yourself when
you speech? (Although Archer sort of doing a bullet-time
duck was amusing.)
Okay, Archer being transported while running?
Klingon blood is purple! If Klaang bleeds red,
does that mean he's something else? A Suliban?
They have a spectral micrometer in the High
Council chamber? How often do they need access to that machine
that they installed one within walking distance of the Chancellor?
Wow, I was wrong in "The Council":
Hoshi's done that "you don't want to know" crap
before. But it's still not an ensign's job to refuse to translate
something for the captain!
Hey, Trip's first swear! A delighted "sonofabitch!" in
response to Starfleet giving Enterprise the go-ahead to keep
So what changed T'Pol's mind about working
with the humans? She's "even" with Archer, if that's
her reasoning. She continued to berate the mission goal as
foolish throughout the episode. Archer doesn't reach out
to her until the very speech in which he asks her to stay.
Why does she choose to continue to work with smelly, volatile,
impulsive, illogical Terrans?
When this first aired, I remember telling a
co-worker that "it was good sci-fi, just not particularly
good Trek." I think in hindsight, I could say of the
first three seasons that the show was an okay space opera
and decent Trek, and S4 was good scifi and good Trek.
Recycled Trek Actor Checklist (c'mon,
you've missed that): To make up for not having had any Recycled
Actors all summer, the pilot has a boatload of them. John
Fleck, the bedroom-voiced Silik, turns out to be another
latex addict: he was Taibak in TNG's "The
Mind's Eye;" on DS9 he played an uncredited Cardassian
officer in "The
Homecoming," Ornithar in "The
Search: Part 1," and Tal'Shiar Chairman Koval in "Inter
Arma Enim Silent Leges;" and on VOY he was the slithery
junkyard dealer Abaddon in "Alice." Mark
Moses (Henry Archer), was Naroq in VOY's "Riddles." Thomas
Kopache (Tos, one of the snotty Vulcans) we covered when
he played the Melting Molecules Alien in S3. James Horan
is apparently the Stock Humanoid Figure for ENT, playing
the same role in "Broken Bow," "Cold Front," "Shockwave" parts
1 and 2, and "The Expanse," but he can also act:
he was Dr. Jo'Brill in TNG's "Suspicions" and
Lieutenant Barnaby in "Descent:
Part 2;" Ikat'ika in DS9's "In
Purgatory's Shadow" and "By
Inferno's Light;" and Tosin in VOY's "Fair
Trade." Joseph Ruskin, the Suliban Doctor (I have
no idea which one he was) is one of only three actors who
was on Classic Trek as well as ENT: he was Galt in "The
Gamesters of Triskelion," also playing Tumek in
House of Quark" and "Looking
for par'Mach in All the Wrong Places," "Tuvok's
Vulcan logic master in "Gravity," and
Son'a officer #3 in Insurrection.
As a bonus, he did several video game voices too: Admiral
Nolotai and Vulcan Master N'Kal for Star Trek: Away Team,
and Master Si'tann for Star Trek: Hidden Evil (that doesn't
sound particularly Trek-like to me...). Van Epperson (Alien
Man) needs a better agent to get him some roles with names:
on TNG he was a morgue attendant in "Time's
Arrow: Part 2" and on DS9 he was a Bajoran clerk
in "Q-Less." Matthew
James Williamson (Klingon Council Member) has the same problem:
he was Security Officer #2 in VOY's "Workforce:
Part 1 and
2" and an unnamed Klingon in "Endgame:
On a completely unrelated note: I can remember
the plots of most of Classic Trek, TNG, VOY, and ENT episodes
by their titles, but for the most part the titles are pretty
ordinary. DS9 had absolutely the best episode names, but
for the life of me I couldn't match up a plot to a title
for three-quarters of them.
October 17, 2005: As promised, a fresh Get Me Rewrite! with Trip. (Technically that's Silik, from "Storm Front,"
but that's the beauty of rewriting the image.)
Starting next week and running through the new
year, I'll have a new twist on a previous Extra: Mirror Universe Personal Quizzes! These
turned out to be lots of fun, so please keep coming back for
them. (I have other things in the works too, also ENT-related.)
October 24, 2005: Remember the Personal
Quizzes which rainwoman and I did a few years back? myst made
the brilliant suggestion that we update them for the Mirror
We begin with Mirror
Universe Tucker. You'll note that the questions are a
little different in the Mirror Universe too. Co-writing credits
to myst and rainwoman, and much thanks for all the generous
TrekToday posted some very interesting comments which Connor made at
a recent convention, especially in regards to the Mirror Universe
(the cast hated filming it! that's a bummer), Trip's love
for Archer, and Trinneer's dissatisfaction with the S3 "romance."
October 31, 2005: Surprisingly, Mirror
Reed turned out not to be the scariest figure in the cast,
but he's our Halloween quiz. Safe trick-or-treating and I'll
trade anybody Milk Duds for $100,000 Bars. Or Milky Way Dark.
November 7, 2005: One of quizzes which
made me laugh the hardest is Mirror
Archer, because he's just so out there. The in-jokes
are starting to unfold, if you're keeping track. Another new
Extra next week.
November 14, 2005: The portrayal of the
Vulcans was one of the most interesting facets of the Mirror
Universe, and one with great potential. myst and I, with generous
help from wombat61, spent a few weeks working out what their
situation might be and how Mirror
T'Pol and Mirror Soval came to be where they were. I think
myst did an excellent job with this quiz, adding several layers
to the society we saw and hinting at what could happen in
A topic which occasionally surfaces on BBSs
is "Lines You'll Never Hear On [show]." I started
to write one for ENT, but I immediately realized it would
be much funnier to take my usual perspective of breaking the
fourth wall and put together "What
They Say Off-Camera." Suggestions and additions are
welcome and will be credited.
Trip: Sure is hot.
Trip: Ah could sure go for a cherry sno-cone.
Archer: Yeah, that'd be great right about now.
Trip: You gonna go get me one?
Trip: ...Why not?
Archer: Think I'm just gonna stand here for a
Trip: Why's that?
Archer: In fact, I don't think I can really move
Trip: Why not? What's the matter with you?
Archer: Remember that last tussle in the dunes
Archer: Got sand down my shorts.
Archer: Ever get sand down your shorts when you've
Trip: Piles of what?
Archer: No, piles. Just -- piles.
Trip: What the hell is "piles"?
Archer: Hemorrhoids, all right? I've got
hemorrhoids and the sand really chafes.
Trip: So you're gonna be a pain in the ass and
not get me a cherry sno-cone because you've got a pain
in the ass?
Archer: Oh, gimme a dollar already and I'll get
your damn sno-cone.
Trip: You're a peach.
Archer: I thought you wanted cherry?
November 23, 2005: We are confirmed
that Connor will have a guest role on Friday's (November
25) episode of the CBS series Numb3rs. He
plays Bob McHugh, whose problem kicks off the week's plot,
but we don't know how big the role is.
Connor stated on his own website that he just
finished filming a guest shot for Close to Home, another
CBS series which airs later on Friday nights. No confirmation
on when that will air. The SG:A episode with Connor, "Michael," is
slated for February 2006.
Happy Carbo Coma Day to all! Let's be thankful
for transient sorrows and long-lasting joys.
November 28, 2005: Mirror
Mayweather has a few more secrets than our Silent Trav,
and a little more amibition. Plus a way cooler haircut.
I wish they'd given Connor more to do on Numb3rs,
but I'd settle for one of the "I Hid Bob McHugh"
T-shirts or mugs. Ah well, we know he has a large role in
the SG:A episode. Although if you enjoyed seeing Connor, going
to CBS's website and dropping them a note in the feedback form at the bottom
of the page certainly can't hurt.
We finally got out to see Goblet
of Fire, and I've jotted down a few thoughts if you're
interested. New Get Me Rewrite for next week.
November 29, 2005: The IMDb lists Connor as being in two SG:A episodes, one in
February and one in March. Yay!
December 5, 2005: Mirror
Sato, who wound up being one of the most devious of the
crew, consents to answer this week's quiz.
And in celebration of George Takei recently
coming out of the closet (and 18 years with Brad! go George!)
we have a Get
Me Rewrite! with an exuberant Sulu. Keep it courteous
and PG-13 as always.
December 12, 2005: Mirror
Forrest was one of the more decent guys -- someone who
understood that while in the Empire you need force to rule,
you don't need bullying.
Hey, didja see that BSG is now available for
download from iTunes for $1.99 an episode?
December 19, 2005: A slightly different
take on the Mirror Universe, from Mirror
Soval -- a crewman, not an officer, and not of the race
in power. Another look behind the scenes of how that universe
came to be. Fascinating and a little sad.
The IMdb lists a few more BSG2K episode names,
so I've updated the Off-Topic page.
December 26, 2005: For the grand finale
of the Mirror Universe Quizzes, we have Mirror
Rostov. Yes, I know Rostov wasn't in either of
the IAMD episodes, but doesn't that leave him entirely open
for interpretation? So Mike gives us a look into how things
are in the Empire from way on the inside -- namely,
next to the Emperor himself.
Plus ivymae did a frakkin' awesome illustration
which you must see. :D
Site updates, January
2 through June 26, 2006
Site updates, July
4 through September 26, 2005
Site updates, April
1 through July 1, 2005
Site updates, January
4 through March 25, 2005
Site updates, October
1 through December 31, 2004
Site updates, July
4 through September 24, 2004
Site updates, April
7 through June 30, 2004
Site updates, January
1 through March 31, 2004
Site updates, October
1 through December 31, 2003
Site updates, July
4 through September 30, 2003
Site upates, April 2 through July 2, 2003
Site upates, January 1 through March 28, 2003
Site updates, July
4 through December 31, 2002